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I would. My network, my people.
I can tell you, as someone who was in the same boat as your potential youth director. The person who could've warned me didn't, and I resented her for it very much. I was in the most toxic environment I could've imagined. I asked her about it later, and she said it didn't feel right to tell me because she didn't want me to not take it. I probably still would've taken it because the title was good for my resume, but with a different approach and mindset , I wouldn't have felt so blindsided by the insanity.
So I'm in favor of giving her at least some objective info so she can make a good decision for herself.
Feel her out. Something toxic for you might not be that big a deal for someone else. But definitely let her know so she has all the info.
I would warn her.
Def warn. Protect your people!
Warn her. Contacts survive jobs, ideally.
I am always honest about both good and bad in a role I’m hiring for, ESPECIALLY if it’s someone from my network.
If it were you and she was the hiring manager, what would you wish she would tell you? I'd definitely apply the golden rule here.
I would tell her what you're struggling with and let her make her own decisions. That way you've covered both