I’m going to be my niece’s godmother, they’re doing a baptism this weekend at a really formal church in Virginia (high Episcopalian). The thing is, I’m not Christian, so I have no idea what to wear. My sister in law is super stressed and when I asked, she just said “it’s really dressy, men wear jackets and ties.”

Any ideas on what to wear? I’d also appreciate any insight into “rules” about church clothes or church generally! Thanks!

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Wear something you’d wear when meeting your future in laws- high quality fabric that makes you look presentable with your shoulders and knees covered. If you don’t have something a sales rep should be able to help find something appropriate. You can also buy second hand and have it tailored

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Thank you!

A nice cardigan can also make many dresses church appropriate. I imagine you will see a lot of floral patterns and pastels this time of year. If the church is super traditional, I’d go closed toe/peep toe with a low to mid heel, but most churches a nice, strappy sandal would also be fine.

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Thank you! I hadn’t even started thinking about shoes!

Cover shoulders and knees, and dresses are highly preferred. As A1 said a good fabric makes a huge difference, but you might be able to go to a Nordstrom/Dillards or wherever and get some recs. I’d imagine places like reformation, tuckernuck and revolve would be good online options. I just saw a tuckernuck dress I almost bought for my own kid’s Catholic baptism (called Sand Floral Serena Dress). I ended up buying a Zimmerman dress that was on sale for like $300 but that’s because I have a wedding abroad later this year I can also wear it to 🤷‍♀️

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Thank you! The tuckernuck example is a really helpful guide!

Pretty work clothes work great. A shift dress with a cardigan, wide-legged trousers and a blouse, etc. I would not go for like an all black suit (a bit stern), but conservative office-appropriate clothes in a pretty color or print are the ticket.

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Thanks, this is helpful because it’s pretty much all I have these days—my closet has devolved into work clothes or workout clothes and pajamas!

Grew up going to a high Episcopal church in the DMV. Echo the advice that workwear can be fine for church, and even pants can be ok, though would err on the side of a dress.

Show only as much skin as you would show at work. And when in doubt, a sheath dress plus a cardigan and kitten heels is fine.

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Agree! Sounds like you can dress it up with your shoes, jewelry, and bag, and it’s totally appropriate.

For church generally, I’d check with the rules of Episcopal church to see if you can take communion without being baptized/confirmed (not sure if you are!). For example, I’m Presbyterian, and I’ve been welcomed to take communion in other Protestant churches, but I cannot take communion in a Catholic church. If you can’t take communion, check what you are meant to do instead (likely something like “sit quietly,” but in the Catholic church, you can go to the front, cross your arms over your chest, and receive a blessing, if desired). It’ll be a lovely ceremony, and I hope you enjoy supporting your niece :)

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Excellent, glad everyone is on the same page! I feel like communion is the main part of church where you can’t get away with just copying what everyone else is doing (sit, stand, nod thoughtfully), so I’m glad you won’t get caught off guard when everyone starts walking to the front for communion. Sounds like everything will work out wonderfully!

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