I’m newly divorced and I’d love some advice. I was at a bar/music venue and walked over to an open seat to watch the live band. I ended up striking a conversation with the man next to me mostly about live music. He told me he used to live in the area but leads a “nomadic” life now… working as a finance consultant and living in various parts of the world. He was last living in Italy but is now in town visiting his cousin. (Continued in comments)

Trust your gut don’t go. He might be a normal guy that’s being honest but it’s really weird to not have a LinkedIn in 2025 as a finance consultant. You shouldn’t have to ask for his passport, something is telling you not to go and I would listen to that.

I have done the talk myself out of my fears so many times and I was always right. Like sometimes it took years to prove but now I'm like ok off chance I'm wrong and he's great is worth not having all sorts of bad options of experiences. I will say this too - I am not a biological determinist in the least but most men are bigger stronger and certainly more privileged. Do not place high bets on men. This guy honestly sounds super sketchy in my experience and based on friends' experiences. Nomad is short for unhomed, and he may have once been a consultant but he sure isn't now. Have you met consultants they are sooo ambitious always looking for their next thing. Enough clients in this economy -- that could change any day. If he's not outright lying he's dumb as hell. Agreed have friends and do not go to a second location. Ask questions. But mainly please just don't go haha

If you do go, please have two male friends in close proximity just in case. Uber there and back (make a reservation for your return trip)

However I vote not to go!

Agree- he/the situation does sound super sketchy. But I also think asking him for proof of his trip to Italy is a bit extra.

If you thought the connection was good, I'd say meet him in a very public place, with friends nearby and/or who know exactly where you are and can check in on you during the time you are meeting him to confirm you're okay. Or even meet him with a friend. Without these precautions, I wouldn't feel safe about meeting him again.

(Cont) He’ll be going back in Italy in a few weeks and after that will go to Albania and then Greece. He said he’d like to connect so I asked him for his LinkedIn. He said he doesn’t have a LinkedIn account because he has more than enough clients and doesn’t need one because he is likely going to retire soon. So we exchanged phone numbers.

He wants to meet up but I’m feeling a little skittish. He has a very common name (as common as Michael Johnson) so when I Google him I can’t find anything about him. And it just feels unsettling that he has no address and no record of employment (that I can see). So how do I know he’s for real and not a serial killer? Is it ok to ask for him to send me a picture of his passport and his stamp from Italy as “proof” before we meet up? Is that too much to ask? What else could I do to feel better/safer about him?

FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. It’s the Holy Spirit guiding you. It’s not worth it. As my Mama says, “You’re not that hard up! Don’t be a fool.”

I mean I think that you could say that about a lot of people and even the ones that you can find stuff on Google about can still be serial killers. I say meet in public places until you feel comfortable enough not to.

Hi Ladies! I so appreciate all of your advice and support! 💞

Here’s an update: I told him I was nervous meeting up with someone with no known address or place of employment history and how it’s hard to fathom someone without a LinkedIn these days. He replied
that he went thru a nasty divorce a few years ago and she took over his social media posting bad things under his name and his identity was hacked and credit destroyed. Thats why he deleted all social media and wants to retire in Italy to get away from all the drama and start new.

So if it’s for real I feel terrible for the guy. 🥺 If it’s a convenient story then it sounds like the beginning of a tv crime drama. 🫣