Is it just impossible to have small children and be in corporate America rn? I’m feeling pressure to have an increased “in office presence” and work longer hours in the office. I have a small child and my partner also works full time. I’ve been trying to work shorter hours in office and plug back in at home after dinner, but I’m being treated as if I’m not working at all. Any light at the end of the tunnel? Or suggestions on how to balance as reasonable in-office schedule? Help!

Yea. It’s so tough. I feel like the post pandemic productivity push is extreme right now. I highly recommend looking elsewhere. There are still plenty of companies that are more flexible. Don’t suffer assuming it’s like this everywhere.

Ugh I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this! My company is full of parents and RTO is super flexible. Basically just want to highlight that there are companies where that pressure doesn’t exist

I feel like a lot of us are just ignoring the RTO rhetoric

If you’re in-office it helps to be visible and stagger your schedule, if possible. I start at 7am so I can catch the 4pm train home on low traffic days when there’s not a lot of people in the office during the week. Then other days I can stay later and be visible at the office 6/7pm. I really make my presence known when I’m in the office on high traffic days. Speak to as many people as possible in person. Stop by offices. Get your visibility up when you are there. Mention over teams that you’re in the office and when on calls. Makes a huge difference.

My firm has been pushing RTO hard, even for high billers (I've never billed under 2300). My office still doesn't have a ton of partners in day to day, and they just track via swipes into the office. So I get in some time between 7:30-8:30 and leave sometime 1-3 except when I have calls that go later into the day. Most women with children I know also go into the office for a short period and then work from home afterwards. We haven't asked for permission; we just implement and schedule calls/meetings during hours we're in the office.

I think the only solution here is to switch companies who are more accepting of / encourage WFH. To me personally, this is just a matter of actually caring about your employees wellbeing. Any company who claims to care about their employees but mandates 5 days in office for no legitimate reason doesn’t give a shit about their employees wellbeing imo. It’s something I’m really scared about when having children in the future, but know my next job move that will have to be an absolute priority. But have friends who have great flexibility in that dept. so hopefully will be okay.

I’m leaving my current firm and this is one of the contributing factors. Some places/people get it and some just don’t and you won’t change the people who don’t. Sometimes it doesn’t matter that you’re good at your job and getting the job done well. People get stuck on “well you SHOULD really be in the office more.” I rarely work with the people in my actual office (national firm) and they still want us back in showing face. It’s dumb and they’re going to continue to lose good talent until it changes.

My point is, don’t settle and there’s better out there.

It is tough. Do you have child care? Find a daycare, join a nanny share, or hire a nanny so you’re able to meet your in-office obligations. Outsourcing help makes life easier so you’ll feel better about work and showing up at home.

Is daycare or a nanny not an option? I’m confused because every woman I know who has a career did this or some variation of this. Unless the question you’re asking is different and I’m missing it entirely.

This is very office dependent. I experience flexibility for my kids sake and I appreciate it. I’m remote but unless I lived far from my office, it wouldn’t change much. I think it depends on the mindset if the reporting structure. Are they old school? Are you the only one with young kids on the team. Sorry you are struggling.

It’s really tough. I lean on my parents and family a lot.