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Could be just my experience but what I'm seeing is that it usually takes 10+ years in the field. Even then, it varies a lot by agency size and location. It’s totally normal to work hard and still feel the pinch for a while.
Inflation is outpacing raises for a lot of people, so we're left chasing that feeling of security as it gets further and further away. However, do make sure you compare what you are making to the industry standard for your area. If you are being paid less than what other companies offer, it might be time to change jobs.
It’s a personal finance question, but having 6 months of liquid savings (rainy day fund) and spending ~30-35% post tax earnings on housing (after full 401K / HSA funding) is when I felt solid. I don’t have kids though so the numbers and safety net would be different.