Moms in big law with babies are always posting about it being tough, so no news there. But I’m a mom in big law in the M&A practice and I’m wondering if any other moms are finding this to be straight up impossible? The deadlines in these deals do not leave any wiggle room for the unexpected (babies get sick, etc). I’m feeling like a failure that I had to move a deadline twice this week and my team is super upset I think. Am I just not cutting it? Babies are 2 and 9 months. I’m a Junior Associate

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I’m not in m&a but I found that people in your situations just rely heavily on nannies

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You are not failure in any way, shape, or form, but, realistically, not everyone’s circumstances/priorities/values permit them to do every job. Perhaps your current situation isn’t the best fit.

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Not a failure. A realist.

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I’m a single mom, senior M&A associate. Feel free to message me! It’s really hard but there are ways to try to manage your schedule and household.

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Even more admirable. Sorry you’re going through that. Hopefully one day a distant memory.

I’m not in M&A but a similar transactional practice. After baby #1 I felt a lot of tension between work and family life. It was really eating me up until I did a lot of thinking about my career and family + convos with working moms in the field and had to get super honest with myself on what I was and wasn’t ok with and ultimately decide to step away from the role. Truly admire your strength to make it this far with TWO little ones, you’ve got this and I’m sure you will sort out the best path (whether sticking it out with some additional childcare, or finding another path). ❤️

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You CAN cut it. The question is whether you want to sacrifice time/responsibilities at home to do so. It's unfortunate, but it is near impossible for someone to be both the "primary parent" and successful at this job. It requires substantial outsourcing (meal prep, home cleaning, laundry service, extra childcare) and sacrificing either family time or sleep (and usually both). I realized when I was pregnant with my second that I did not want to continue pulling all nighters to keep up with my deadlines/billables while making it home for dinner and bedtime every night. I'm now looking to move in-house or will drop to a reduced hours schedule.

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Yes. And I'm in house now. Teams get equally upset, but I don't want to get a nanny. You can try and find backup childcare you haven't looked into it. I end up working to 2 or 4am on sick days and some clients still dont appreciate it. Unfortunately, I feel like this feeling is normal, although I contemplate quitting regularly

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