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Chief
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90s music binge is so fire right now.
Any recs for CIPM study books?
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Pro
I cannot really speak to the culture aspect here, but your wife doing a 180 like this could be untreated PPA or PPD.
I would look into the symptoms for both and be prepared that this could be the root of what is happening and why she is bending to her parents will.
Pro
Okay see you’re focusing on your problems, and not the very real possibility that your wife might be in throes of a mental health crisis.
I had same situation like yours. I'm short tempered and things were going bad , unless , i understood keeping calm will treat things better. I played smart, sometimes I had to act against my nature to swiftly being my son and wife back home. Your struggle starts now including mental harrassment and i will be with you for any sort of advice at any point of time.
I would suggest keep calm and think any act of your may snatch your child away from you. KEEP CALM AND DONT REACT.
Mother in lawss are bitches and their obsession with their daughters and over intervention kills the relationship
Past 1 month we are arguing each other on phone
Your In laws are toxic, bulao ghar pe fir treat the same way she treats your parent
They are not ready leave there daughter with me.....i dnt understand why they are dying to come and stay with us....ab tak to maine apni family ko bhi bulya because of my wifes drama....really its toxicating disturbing me lot affectng both personal n work life
OP: I’d tell her that I need her and your child back for at least 3 months before you can discuss any sort of arrangement involving parents. Be insistent that you will be there for her and that you both can do it. See how she’ll respond. Call your FIL and ask him if his daughter still wants to be married. Do NOT talk to MIL, unless she actually wants her daughter out of the house too. Never argue - that’s something women perceive as weakness. They want someone in charge while in a vulnerable state (after birth definitely one of those times), and it’s better to just say “we’ll discuss it later” for something that may be possible, or hard “no” for something that you feel will ruin both your lives. Don’t force her, but establish boundaries as the one in charge. I can tell you one thing: she wants you to be in charge, as she wouldn’t be asking about bringing over the in-laws, but saying it’s a non-negotiable item. Since she’s asking, you need to be the man and say it with conviction whichever way you’re leaning.
OP: a lot depends on social dynamics. If you don’t mind me asking, what is your background? I’ve seen something similar in Indian culture (got a buddy who walked on eggshells around her family), typically due to heavy family involvement preceding the relationship (up to and including arranged marriage). This would explain all of the above, as in some cultures such behavior is acceptable, and normal. In most western countries, however, both of your and your wife’s behavior would be viewed weird AF.
Looks like your wife has become dependent on her parents to raise the child. Not sure what makes her think that you wouldn’t be able to fulfill that need. Like able to provide the help her parents are providing.
Pro
Well if you look at OP’s response to me, it’s not giving selflessness…
What's wrong in living with wife's parents. When she can live with yours, so can you
No, it's not advisable unless her parents are incapable of staying alone.
Pls connect/DM