This might be controversial. Should I tell my husband that it bothers me that my mother-in-law gave a more expensive wedding gift to his brothers wife vs what she gave me. (It’s a piece of jewelry)

I would gauge if this is a recurring thing or a one time occurrence. It maybe a request from her or the brother and it’s possible she may realize it on her own and give you a more expensive gift later on.

Is your BIL more loved by your MIL vs the love your husband gets? It may not be your fault but completely your husband’s on not being the better son which resulted in your getting discounted love as well.

I’d suggest not to take it to your heart or think of it as your mistake or lack of love for you. This jewellery will stay in this world and someone else will own it someday.

Focus on being loved by your husband, being a nice DIL and loving your MIL. Fill the gaps on what’s missing in these relationships - some bit of love, some good food, and conversations. A few $$ here and there hardly ever matter.

Hope this helps. Cheers! 🥂

What do you hope to achieve by asking him that question?

In laws always play favorites. it sucks but its a part of life

Let it go. There’s no benefit by staying in that line of thinking. Is a slippery slope. Be grateful. Love your husband and live your life.
Trust me, you might need husband to have your back on something way more important.

You are asking if you should tell your husband but why? Are you hoping he goes to your MIL and makes a fuss about it with her so that she can stress over equally valued gifts in the future between the two of you? Doesn’t sound like the best way to start this long-term relationship with your MIL if you are just getting out of the wedding phase. I am one of three SILs in my husband’s family for over 15 years. The value of what each of us have received over the years from my MIL ebbs and flows and probably evens out over time between the three of us. TBH I have never looked across and wondered about comparative values and never cared. Many of her gifts come with great thought on what we like and various moments in life - including jewelry. She loves all of us and the grandchildren we all gave her equally. The gifts she gives often come from a place of love and just wanting to get us something that is special for each of our unique likes and personalities. I doubt she’s counting to make sure everyone got the same budget. Maybe revisit this question if there is a pattern of imbalance among other things over a longer period of time. Until then, I suggest you work on your relationship with her first and exploring some possible insecurities you may be grappling with inside of this new extended family vs focusing so much on $$$ value from one gift.

I wish I could move beyond this thing. I realize how petty it sounds but I feel like if you’d begin our relationship with a cheap present, why would you ever invest the time or effort in our relationship in the future?

It’s not petty. Your feelings matter. But what is your real concern?

If you think a material possession equals her affection for you or your hubby or how she perceives your marriage… Trust me, you would have a problem with her no matter what she got you.

The issue isn’t the gift. It’s that you haven’t built a strong relationship with your MIL

Just my opinion from what you’ve shared.

If there any truth to that, work on being friends with your MIL then you might get better gifts in the future. That’s the long game :)

It is petty. Maybe she realizes you were disappointed and is trying not to disappoint this new wife. Stop keeping score and be happy for her.

It should not bother you !!!! And definitely you should not bring it up

Let it go. Why do you compare in the first place?

Was it given to both same time ? then its nothing but a pure insult as your MIL clearly knows the difference .. your husband should defenitly know about it ...

Unless he's a mama's boy, speaking openly about challenges you're having with your in-laws should be fair game in a good partnership. I will always have my wife's back if stuff comes up with my mom, and I know she'll always have mine when it comes to my in-laws. We try our best to work anything out in private if needed, and then have a united front with our parents.

All that said, I'm not sure what he (or I, if I were in his shoes) can really do here. Calling out MIL for playing favorites could just make things worse. But if the point is just to vent and hopefully have him understand and agree, then that's valid IMO.

You should also do tit for tat. Give your mother an expensive item and not so good to ur MIL and show her pic of what u gave to ur mom. She should also feel the same like what she did it to you

Please do tell him!! These things usually happen in every Indian household but ensure that you and your husband have your savings separately going forward and not mixed with brother in laws family!

How much more expensive was it?

I don’t think it’s worthwhile.

There are many reasons why MIL could have done this, for example. Did her husband recently pass? Did she recently retire etc.?

Wow.

This is Ghor Kalyug! 🤯🤔😳😕