About to return to work after maternity leave with my first. Any advice or things you wish you would have known that kept you sane during this transition and/or being in biglaw as a now mom?

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Go part time, telework as much as you can, outsource everything at home (meal delivery, cleaning), keep baby home with a nanny so you can nurse and not pump and see them when you take breaks during the day, expect to coast for a long time but be pleasant and poised at work and show up when you really need to.

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I'm not in big law but my biggest advice is to be gentle with yourself. It's a hard transition, regardless of what type of law you practice but that doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. Prioritizing small goals may feel helpful. My kids are older and some days I have to remind myself that if everyone's basic needs are met then that's a good day. If working out is important to you include that and if it's not then don't add it to your plate right now. It gets a different kind of easier and harder as they grow up, but you do get more confidence in figuring out the unknown If you can build a support network (e.g. family, childcare, mom group, therapy) that will make a difference. Sending lots of support to anyone navigating this transition.

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I know sleep training is controversial, but if you’re open to it, I took the Taking Cara Babies class when my son was 5 months old and that saved me. Because I could put him to bed around 630/7pm, and log back in to work for a couple hours, and also know I’d get a solid few hours of sleep. If your child is a difficult sleeper or a cosleeper, it becomes impossible to get any work done in the evenings. By having a baby that slept well, I was able to block out 5-7pm to spend time with my son, knowing I’d have a few hours at night to catch up. And that really helped for me. Wishing you luck 🫶

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On the flip side, kids who are sleep trained often experience more sleep challenges as toddlers. They only stayed in their cribs because they were unable to leave, so those babies often become the toddlers who don’t want to stay in their rooms at night and fight bedtime because it hasn’t been a happy time for them.

Different things work for different families, but choosing a Montessori floor bed and laying with our kids until they fall asleep has worked out great for us. Bedtime is a cozy, happy time that we all look forward to, and they have never wandered at night.

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Take your time and read and review things you think you know and can take for granted. It’s a lot to even spend so much time in front of a screen reading again. Take more notes and don’t be shy about communicating with your teams about touching base or asking for feedback more often for now. On the personal side make sure you get sleep, so if you can, have support around that, eat enough, take your time and wfh as much as possible. It takes time to readjust. Trust your gut. You got this.

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Following… in the same exact boat. Very scared about burn out.

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Block time off on your work calendar to hang with your baby!

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