Be real with me here. Have you ever rejected a candidate because you felt like they were standoffish, even though their education, qualifications, etc, were stellar? I recently passed on one such candidate and haven't been able to find a suitable candidate ever since, and feel like I made a big mistake. I just care very much about the personality of the candidate, but I wonder if I need to draw a line somewhere. Thoughts?

Of course, personality matters, but if you’re letting a single impression of someone being “standoffish” override their stellar qualifications, you might be shooting yourself in the foot-and it sounds like you already realize that, given you haven’t found anyone better since. Real talk, interviews are nerve-wracking, and not everyone’s going to charm you right off the bat. Some of the best people I’ve hired weren’t the warmest in the interview room, but they turned out to be absolute rockstars once they settled in. If you’re rejecting people just because they don’t fit your ideal of “personality” in a 30-minute meeting, you’re probably missing out on a lot of talent.

As an executive coach for the past 20 years I can tell you that interviewing is very hard. Some personalities just fly through the interview process, and others just want to crawl up into a ball and die. Being standoffish is likely to be a symptom of fear of interviewing, and making a mistake that will cost them the job. I'm worked with enough job seekers over the years to tell you that's speaking in public and interviewing are the two scariest things for most humans!

After the people who struggle in interviews get hired, they are very likely to turn out to be good employees and good teammates.

If no other candidate shows up, I would give this person a try.

Good Luck.

You must first eliminate yourself from the equation -- did you do everything in your power to engage them? i.e., describe your role, company product, team projects + express interest in THEM, their background & career path. If you've done all that and they're still "standoffish", count it as a blessing that they're essentially disqualifying themself.

But not all hiring managers are created equal. Some are truly boring to talk to. And some are not. Which one are you?

Kind of. The candidate didn’t have outstanding qualifications/skills, but they were on par with what we were looking for. The rejection came when they were overly critical. They asked something that I had to follow up on and they became very difficult to interview after that, over me not knowing an answer. I can understand to some degree, but they just kept going back to it and then didn’t want to ask anymore questions because they were worried I wouldn’t know those either, but when they finally did ask I was more then able to answer.

Absolutely, education and qualifications are check the box items. The ability to communicate and work with a team are the actual differentiators for most jobs.

I have. Some candidates just manage to rub you the wrong way in spite of having sterling credentials. If you're rejecting an inordinate percentage because of perceived personality issues, maybe you need to rethink your approach, but that does not sound like the case here. I think you were right to trust your gut.

I remember some candidates who didn't make it and personality definitely mattered in the decision. It wasn't that they were standoffish in the sense of being shy, they seemed aggressively standoffish. We need people who can work together, but if someone seems brilliant but comes off a lone wolf, that doesn't bode well.