Biglaw partners who are parents: maybe a controversial question, but would you choose this path of intensely working mom if you have an option not to? Almost everyone I know who is a partner and a mom is a breadwinner in their household. I am too, but my husband is about to make a career change that would bring more $$$ than I make. I am very conflicted about leaving my one year old to daycare and coming into the office for a job I like but definitely don’t love and see as a means to an end.

Something to consider is also long term. Your child will start school, become a teenager, and eventually move out. It’s a lot harder to go back into a good career after taking time off to raise a child. Is it fair? No. Do some people have success stories? Sure, but they’re not in the majority.

This is all to say that think about long term consequences of anything you do. If you’re fine with it, then no one can make that decision for you. It’s just too personal.

I am in BigLaw by choice, but PT. Dad is also very PT.

I would do pretty much anything to keep my child out of full time daycare.

I don’t know that I would, but for me I would need to have independent funds to consider it an option. Personal but I don’t consider relying on a partner’s income to be stable enough for me to forgo my career.

Maybe this is because I remember 2009 very clearly but only having one breadwinner in a household can be very stressful for everyone and inherently risky, in my opinion. Also puts you at risk if there’s an issue with the marriage.

I work full time and my kids are in full time child care. I am at peace with them being there.

I work BigLaw by choice and send my baby (since 5 mos old) to daycare from 9-5 everyday. I like my job and the people I work with and found the end of my maternity leave to be so alienating and boring. I think my son will like seeing his mom being fulfilled at work and he seems to really enjoy “school” every day. Finding a setting that I really liked and where they care about him really puts my mind at ease.

A1. Conversely, you will never get the time back from your kids after they move out. I think people have to do what’s best for them, but 1) I’ve never heard anyone on their death bed say they wished they billed more and 2) being chronically absent can have a real impact on your kids and your relationship with them.

Can you not work from home or try to negotiate work from home privileges? You’re a partner, you should have more flexibility here. A nanny could be an option, too. Even part time.

I feel like any partner in biglaw would have a choice? Like if you made it there you can prob (I)find another job that pays well or (ii) had enough savings to at least take a small break? I think anyone can live with less than biglaw partner salary/pay so mostly it’s by choice? I wouldn’t do it so honestly planning on quitting next year because I also don’t want my baby in daycare and I want to spend time with him (and my husband also makes a lot of money).

I love my job in biglaw, but also love that we can afford to not have my husband work, so he can be home with our 1 and 3 year old. And I did negotiate to work from home, so that I typically do all 3 meals with the kids and always do bedtime.

I am currently a partner and breadwinner. My husband is working his way up the ladder in a second career and then I will go PT or quit asap. As someone else said, I wish I could keep my kids out of full time childcare. I work full time because I have to.

Ya for what it’s worth my husband and I both work full time and never imagined or wanted it any other way. I’d be a shitty mom without my career and he’d be a shitty dad. But big law specifically? Does not mesh well with the kind of mom I’d like to be. I’m not a partner but have definitely decided I’m not chasing it and will likely go to a smaller firm once our child care costs come down a bit.

I would not. And I’m already PT. If I had the option, I’d be a career clerk for one of my state’s appellate court judges. One day that’s the goal, but until my kids are all at least out of childcare I have to keep trucking along.

F

I work 3 days a week and still bring in six figures. To me, it’s the best of both worlds!!