Don’t really have any friends who both 1) are ambitious and 2) have kids (it’s mostly one or the other). How have you met moms like you? Is it still possible to do in your mid 30s? Not in consulting anymore so that helps, but live like an hour outside the nearest city so probably need to move 😪.

I find it really hard to find moms like that. I even find it hard to find moms who are willing to talk about something other than kids when we meet...

I have 3 kids (1 classified profoundly autistic and a toddler in the stages of being diagnosed) . I’m in my mid 40’s and I just started the process to launch my own boutique consulting firm. I am still
Learning daily and I make time for my development.

In the world of virtual work - it’s very possible to be outside of city limits and consult. (Depending on your industry). I think the “full plate” is not a one size fits all answer. Sure, am I very busy and does it get overwhelming some days? Yes absolutely. But I learn to adapt and I get better. I am not sure why people assume I should just sit back and be “mom”. Actually being MOM taught me how capable I am! You can do it!!

I found it really hard. Sounds like you aren’t meeting in your neighborhood. Perhaps there is a country club/upscale gym nearby where you may meet people with 2 professional adults / similar to your family.

All my daughter's friends have moms who are SAHM. I feel like such a outsider because other than talking about our kids I literally have nothing in common with them. It's also annoying when they ask me to hang out at 11am on a random weekday, no matter how many times I tell them I work.

You sound like me! Same boat. Any chance you are in NC, outside of charlotte? I’m looking for friends too lol

Suburbs can be great communities to meet friends. If your kids are very little, it should get better once they start school. There will be a lot of SAHMs but usually they used to have intense jobs and can relate in that way.

I found a small group when my kids started playing sports competitively but otherwise also struggled.

Second the daycare comment, that’s where I met all of my ambitious mom friends.

My coworkers and my husband’s coworkers have been the main source of really ambitious moms. One of my old friends from college too, who I only recently reconnected with.

Most of the new moms I meet are less ambitious, but often still pretty nice to connect with. I get wanting to have more in common, but sometimes the differences are helpful too, and we’ll find small similarities across our differences

Maybe I’m the outlier, but I joined a book club with a bunch of moms. All of us work, some are the breadwinners and others are not, with varying levels of commitment to our careers. We don’t often talk about work - we talk about books, our families, shared interests, etc.

I find it as interesting to talk to women in vastly different fields as I do to talk to women who are less career minded. Objectively, I earn the most, and my husband earns a similar salary, meaning we have the highest household income; none of that really matters to me. I enjoy their company.

All that to say - maybe find an interest group to join, and you’ll make friends around that interest; and if some of those friends in that group are women in their 30s and 40s, some of them are going to be moms.

I took my city salary to the burbs working remotely and having the same issue

I think that while its hard to meet like minded people in person or your neighborhood maybe having a virtual meet with like minded people is a start. I have made friends at past jobs who are still with me 10 years later and we all live in different cities. We do a lot of phone calls or VCs but also see each other in person a couple of times a year on vacation or visits etc. This forum is probably a place where you can get to know people as well just a matter of who you can identify with.

How old are your kids?
I think the easiest place to meet like-minded moms is at daycare /school. Daycare generally implies both parents work. School, especially public vs private, you are more likely to find a mix of families. I feel like private, you may encounter more stay at home moms / trophy wives (totally stereotyping but public just has a better mix).
The moms I know who are like me are all from daycare (my kids are 1 and 4). I know it’s hard to meet people, but I’m in the suburbs (and from the city) and there’s plenty of likeminded people.