Every woman around me seems to have their relationships, finances, skincare, gym, and work life together. Meanwhile I’m over here just trying to figure out if I can afford to get my roots done this month. How are you all actually budgeting and living these “balanced” lives? Please share the hacks or tell me it’s all fake.

It's a perception. I somehow end up at work (or WFH on Teams) looking happy and put together, but I don't talk about the big fight I had with my husband that morning, or the 30lbs I've gained since covid that I can't seem to find time to work on, or the mold growing between my walls from a water leak last fall that we still haven't hired someone to fix because it's going to be a huge project. Also, keep in mind that frequently with finances, the people who 'look' like they have it all figured out - nice car, big house, expensive hair and nails - are actually doing worse (due to debt), than people who outwardly live more modestly. Stop comparing. Figure out what your goals are and what you value and work toward that. Everyone has struggles/problems/challenges that we don't advertise.

I promise there is no one that truly has the perfect, “together” life that you think you’re seeing - and if anyone thinks they have it all figured out you can bet they are delulu, so steer clear of their advice!

Something I’ve heard that resonates with me as a recovering perfectionist is, sooner or later, no matter how hard you try you’re going to drop one of the many balls you’re juggling - not because you are incapable of juggling but because you’re human and humans f up. If you’re going to drop the ball on something make sure it’s a plastic ball that can bounce back instead of a glass one that will shatter.

In other words, know what you’re willing to compromise on or sacrifice in the short term as competing priorities/areas of life bubble up. Forget what everyone else is doing. Focus on YOUR priorities and give the most of YOUR energy to accomplishing YOUR goals. Reevaluate regularly and don’t forget to celebrate the wins along the way.

I don’t have it all, something always has to be sacrificed. but we’re also both very early in our careers and our finances and income might look very very different from our friends

They probably don't. Love yourself and work towards your own goals. Comparisons only hurt, not help.

It takes a while. Earlier in life we had a failed business and weren't sure how we were going to keep our house.

Now the house is paid for and we have good progress on our nest egg. It took patience and diligence to pay off the debt and discipline to live within our means.

Also I quit worrying about my roots and went back to all natural hair. :)

I focus on what is important to me, and don't worry about the things that are not important. My list is family, nutrient rich meals, career, work-life, finances, skincare/selfcare, reading, home care/house cleaning, and vacations. I will never make time to go to a gym regularly. I also look at these as being dynamic, I do not do all the things in one day, instead I plan my career goals, vacations and finances for the year. My selfcare, house cleaning for the month, My meal planning and family time for the week. Then I revisit my plan periodically throughout the week / month / year. I use spreadsheets, planners, and calendars to organize these and i try to delegate where I can. Most important, I forgive myself if something falls.

What people project is often not what they have. And I’m sure you have things they don’t

It’s not ALL fake, but you most likely aren’t seeing the full picture, that just how they are appearing (or coping 😉). Just like what you see on social media isn’t completely real. Do what makes you happy, ask how the people you admire do the things you admire in them, and leave the rest. Most people at work may never (or don’t feel safe to) really open up to their coworkers.

I wouldn't be able to afford any of my leisure items and be financially stable in this economy if it weren't for my partner.

If you're single, it's a struggle to be financially stable when you're earlier in your career.

As for health, you need to make it a top priority. I remind myself how important it is to have a balanced diet and exercise if I want to live a long life.

Some of us are in crazy debt and just not dealing w that. Or super depressed but hide it v well

Planning ahead. Cash budgeting & Sinking funds for bigger expenses. I.e roots if you have to touch them up every 6 months take the cost and divide every month you just put the small amount aside and when 6 months comes along you have it already budgeted. Check with your job sometimes they have deals on fitness courses.

I make more than 3x as much as a I did as a new associate 10 years ago. I regularly felt broke then and really have just started to be comfy in the last few year (also got married which created a bigger cushion). So I’m sure some of it is fake and some is just where everyone is in life. I always remind myself you never know someone’s debt or retirement savings.

Lifestyle creep is also real so try to prioritize what is important to you and splurge there and save everywhere else. I did my own nails for YEARS and stopped doing totally covered hair so it would grow out less drastically.

I think skincare is worth it lol BUT you can actually find some great products at reasonable prices (cerave, cetaphil, la roche posay, etc). A bit of trial and error but just bc something is high dollar doesn’t make it work better for you.