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My comment back would be….would you give the same feedback to a man? Uh no, then don't say it to me. You don't need to be bubbly. You should do your job well just like the dudes in the room with you. There should not be a bubbly factor. I would have lost it.
Agree with EY3 that you should own your career by making changes, which my including removing yourself from that environment. I would also encourage you to find out more about how people perceive you and what’s your brand. This will give you more data points to determine if there are actions you want to take next (e.g., switch to a particular counselor, take specific actions to build/strengthen your brand, find sponsors). Good luck
This seems to be the equivalent of you need to smile more … your not the issue they are
When I have conversations that don’t sit right, I’ll usually follow up with an email outlining the feedback received and outcome of the call, quoting something like the bubbly in there. Either they try to back up on it and rephrase when presented with it or you’ve got documentation of a bizarre standard. I always keep my tone light and non accusatory but it could risk coming across confrontational.
I would ask for examples of role models who are bubbly because you’d like to “learn” from someone. They won’t have one if they are all middle-aged men and maybe it’ll click they are holding you to a different standard
That’s bizarre. Is your counselor a man or a woman? What rank?
Any chance he’s just an idiot?
Funny enough one time I got the opposite comment, from a male, that I was too bubbly. 🙄 Apparently that made it hard to take me seriously.
I got feedback i was “too chatty” in the hallways. And when i stopped chatting, i subsequently got feedback i appeared removed and not invested. Just do you and be yourself
Ask. Something like, 'when you say be more bubbly, can you explain what you mean?I try to be very involved by doing x, y and z.'
Reach out to HR. That is inexcusable.
Hr is not your friend don’t reach out to them
Instead align yourself more with females on your team or (guys support women ) ask those type of senior managers if they need help
I’m going echo you might need to internally move get off this team etc this might not be it
I agree kind of bizarre. I have gotten odd ones like that too and try to unpack. Usually when people care enough to try and provide feedback like that they think you are great and want to help you. So maybe revisit and ask for clarification or suggestions I do think they want u to succeed but are just struggling. Good luck
Excited to hear this response
EVERYTHING that sounds unclear should be clarified during the meeting not on FB. Go back and ask what they meant
I did ask for clarification/specific examples but he didn’t have any, he just said it’s a “general perception” thing
I would have lost my job that day lol. Hellllll no don’t ask me to be bubbly
Me too.