How are you supposed to negotiate when you’re genuinely grateful for the offer. I know it’s under market but it’s still better than where I am now. Every time I start to ask for more I shy away.

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It's ok to not ask for more for the sake of it, especially if you need a job. The advice to always push for more is outdated. It makes sense when it's an employee's market, but not in an employer's market.

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You're supposed to ignore those feelings and push for more. There's nothing forcing you to, though. If you're happy with the pay and/or really worried about an attempted negotiation getting the offer rescinded, you CAN just accept.

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If you ask for more, they may give it to you now, but then they may delay a promotion if they don’t have the budget for more. Or they may rescind the offer and give the job to someone who is not asking for more. There is always a reason why companies lowball, so negotiating with that is dicey. If you truly need the job, it’s not worth the risk in my opinion. Who knows when the next offer comes along? Look at the job market.

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I felt the same way when I got my offer 6 months ago. So grateful to get out of my other massively-overworked, massively-underpaid, 4-day-in-office, 3-4 hour-commute-a-day job at a dysfunctional place after 18 grueling months at that job I had acceptes after 10 months of looking after a layoff.

My dad had just passed away, and I was tired. I was being offered about what I made two roles before at my job before my layoff. Sure, costs have increased since then (late 2022), and I would have needed a 10-12% increase to not absorb the hit from inflation, but I was so happy to have finally found a better role after 6 months of applying and interviews squeezed into my 60+ hour job plus 15 hour weekly total commute time. Plus I was finally able to pay all my bills again without continuing to dwindle my savings and was able to start shoring up my savings again. I was too nervous to try to counter and ask for more and see the offer rescinded. I wanted out of the other place so badly and needed the higher pay and couldn't risk it being rescinded.

So you have to assess your own personal situation, risk-tolerance, and skillset vs. potential other candidates to determine whether you are willing to risk having an offer rescinded vs. negotiating higher compensation for this role at this time. The answer may be very different for two different people, and only you know how you will feel about it either way it goes.

Ask after a year. Show them what you think you're worth. It's all about visibility.

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