How have people navigated issues with inlaws. Mine have called me a gold digger, thrown and broken my stuff, kicked down my door, called me names, taken my money and didn’t show up at our wedding because we wouldn’t uninvite certain people. My husband says that I’m hateful and a terrible person for not forgiving my in laws after some of the more recent incidents. I do not want to forgive and forget and I’m at a breaking point, but am I being a twat and how can I fix this?

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Real question - why did you marry this person if they take their family's side and call you a hateful, terrible person while, apparently, ignoring their family's bad behavior?

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This whole relationship sounds cooked…

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If the behavior is really all one sided and you have played no part in that and your husband will not back you up. It's time to talk to lawyers it will not get better, there will continue to be these issues for the rest of your life. Now, you made reference to refusing to uninvite certain people to your wedding, can you provide some more context there and was it a mutual decision between you and you husband?

If it’s a pattern you see in your in-laws and husband, then you have to break it by setting boundaries and having hard conversations. But before you do that, it’s important to acknowledge that relationships that are broken cannot be “fixed” unless the parties involved take accountability for their behavior and make an effort to do better moving forward. It’s also important to acknowledge depending on the age of the in-laws, physical and mental illness could be a factor. Regardless of why it is occurring, defamation of character should not be acceptable.

Get a divorce and move on before you bring kids into that chaos.

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