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Why would you do this? Can’t imagine having a child and also working period, let alone doing it alone. Do you enjoy chronic stress lol
Lemme also say that your mid-to-late 30s and the 40s beyond are an incredible time of having a ton of life and work stuff figured out. If you do have a kiddo, it’s gets easier to do so at that time if all things health and fertility are equal.
Hi! I did this, as a freelancer. It's tough but I made it work
If you have a drive to be a parent and can make it happen I would say it’s one of - if not the - most fulfilling human experiences you can ever have. That being said: 1. Kids are hard 2. Kids are expensive. I would research the very real costs you’ll incur and the kind of backup money you’ll need - basically for a long time (eg babies get sick all the time once they start nursery and you’ll need to pay for backup childcare or have the flexibility to take off work etc; eg once they start school what kind of wraparound care will you be paying for? What kind of summer activities will you want to pay for? Fertility costs? Etc etc ). And the kinds of things you’ll need to truly make it work - eg maybe a less expensive city? A way to cover all expenses? A more stable job with better wl balance in-house? An understanding team and / or manager? Etc etc etc etc . I will say - parenting with a partner is hard enough, I imagine it’s twice as hard alone. You’ll ideally need support in some way whether family or childcare you can afford. Basically, if you can’t make it work you will be perpetually stressed and won’t get to actually enjoy it. So I think you need to do some good ai / human research on what you’ll need and what it takes. And if you can do it go for it - it’s magical. And if not you will find other ways to be fulfilled in life.
I would say - everyone’s experience is difference but it’s universal that it’s hard and expensive unless you’re very privileged. But for me, I kind of wanted kids and went with it. Now, I can’t imagine life without them and absolutely think it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, by far. I would choose it again a million times over. But - I only know my perspective. I’m pretty financially comfortable so can buy support where I lack it in terms of local family.
Make sure you have some good $ saved upfront for childcare. That’s the hardest part when juggling work and kid. Keep in mind school doesn’t start until 4yo (I mean, my son has a very present dad and still it’s hard, doing it alone must be much harder)
My friend did but really relied on having present grandparents to help
I advise you to talk to people you know well with kids. Get that reality check. It is way beyond HARD—physically, financially and emotionally. Some days, even with a spouse, all I want to do is cry.
We have no help, can’t afford any sitters, and dealing with a layoff with no job on the horizon. Life can be stressful enough these days without kids. Having kids is 70% stress and frustration, 30% joy. Ask about how parenting really is. It’s as easy as it’s gonna be when kids are babies. It gets more complicated as they get older.
Think long and hard about going it alone. As hard as you think it’ll be, it’s way harder.
I did it at 33. My kiddo was 3-4 during Covid. Remote is the key. Feel free to DM me! It’s not impossible by any means.
Thanks for all the replies! I have some savings and some family. Froze my eggs many years ago (hoped I wouldn’t need to use them but here I am). All the concerns are things I’ve thought about, just don’t want to miss out.
Edit: OOPS sorry OP.. deleting my whole comment. Baby brain is real. 🤦♀️
Dm me
I can connect you with someone that is doing it solo by choice if you want to talk to someone
It is hard! But not impossible.
Money is the biggest factor in how hard it will be.