I finally got an offer from a firm I’ve wanted to work at for years, but there’s one problem—the salary is about 10% lower than I expected. I know I should negotiate, but I don’t want to risk souring the relationship or coming off as ungrateful. At the same time, I don’t want to leave money on the table, especially since I know men are more likely to negotiate from the start. Has anyone else been in this position? Did you push for more, or just take the offer and prove your value later? If you negotiated, how did you approach it successfully?

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My experience is it’s really hard to get more once you’re in the role and 10% is a considerable amount to try and catch up to. My approach has been to show why it’s not enough I.e. one time the offer was the same as my current pay and the benefits were’t as good. Another time I had two other offers on the table that were higher. Both times that helped with getting a slight uplift, although I probably could have pushed for more.

Congrats for the offer! I totally get the hesitation, but I think negotiating is expected, and it won’t hurt your relationship if you approach it the right way. I’d express excitement for the role, highlight my value, and ask if there’s room to adjust. Worst case, they say no but at least you tried!

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