I learned the hard way that HR is not really there for you the way people think. You go in hoping for support or guidance and suddenly everything feels very formal and documented. It becomes less about solving the issue and more about protecting the company. I get why it exists but it still feels disappointing. At what point do you stop trusting HR to help and start realizing you need to look out for yourself first?

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That's a pretty accurate way of looking at things. If there's something where you really need to go to HR, you may get some satisfaction. Most of the time, however, they are as you describe, in place to protect the company and keep things running smoothly, even at the expense of the workers. My attitude has always been to avoid getting involved with them, and thankfully I've never had a problem serious enough that it seemed necessary.

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It depends on the situation. If it's a clear cut violation of policy that you know they're going to be compelled to act on, take it to them. If it's anywhere near a grey area, you're on your own. Especially if the other party involved is higher up than you.

I’ve felt the same way. HR often feels more like a company shield than a personal advocate. It’s disappointing, but it teaches you to keep your own notes and protect yourself first. Do you find it changes how you handle issues day to day?

Never trust HR, but know their methods and their games. When it’s time to document an incident or a person, simply use them as a way to create a paper trail. No venting or complaining, simply a place or person to hold information when you’re ready to use it.

I’ve found for most companies, you have to have pretty much black and white rule breaking with substantial evidence. For example if I reported illegal substances during a required bag search, the employee was pretty much out after a small investigation…..But if well documented bullying was reported, then it depended on if the DM decided how much they liked you, it was frustrating, and yes this happened when a manager of mine was legitimately textbook bullying and harassing the entire team with 7 pages of documentation, she got “you need to be more calm and think about your team.” It was hell and after getting a new DM she quit shortly after.

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Kind souls who successfully exited to Google,

Would you be kind enough to refer me to a role at Google!
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Would also love to maybe take you for a meal or alike to thank you for it :) Google

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