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Coffee runs for dates. Gym dates have also been helpful. Even midnight or late night food/drink runs have been fun and kinda spontaneous. I treat it like a job or I just won’t able to fit it into my schedule.
ETA: I’ve had a few friends use matchmakers. Too expensive and no real ROI.
Just wanted to add to this.. I mentioned I met my husband on bumble.. a coworker told me she’s made a ton of networking connections through bumble (no success with the relationship part yet), but if you treat bumble like networking, you could be killing two birds with one stone lol.
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It’s just a dating app but the woman needs to make the first move. If you have a match and the woman doesn’t start a chat, the match goes away.
Yea, this can be a tricky one. I personally found my husband on bumble, while in biglaw but it took a looong time, and lots of trial and error. I know people who paid tens of thousands to matchmakers, and it was a waste of their funds. I also know women who left biglaw to have more time to focus on dating. One of them got married 2 years after leaving. Pick your poison. Lol.
Pro
Love all these bumble (/dating app) success stats!! 🥹
Stop doing "long" dates (1hr dinners etc) and do quick vibe checks...grab coffee together before work, grab brunch before you meet your friends on the weekend, etc. You won't really vibe with most people anyway, so why waste their time or yours getting stuck at a 1hr interview?
Yeah FaceTime makes perfect sense for a vibe check. Could be like a 10-15 minute thing with no commute.
I met my husband on internations.org. They have in chapters in almost all major cities. I immigrated from the same country he is from when I was 6 and he came when he was 32. They have both in person and online networking.
Can you go on secondment? Game changer for me
I started following @alittlenudge and @dating.intentionally on Instagram in late 2023/early 2024 and it completely changed my approach and mindset towards dating apps. I retooled my profiles on Bumble and Hinge a little bit, stopped focusing on reasons to say no to swiping right, started being more open and initiating more, and just overall decided to have fun with it. I would look on the apps for like 15 minutes in the morning, and maybe 20 minutes at night, and respond to any messages during those times or when on the toilet (lol). The biggest game changer for me was asking myself "could I see myself talking to this person for 45 minutes and do I find them just a little bit attractive?" rather than trying to imagine my whole life with them just from their dating app profile. Right up there was chatting on the app just long enough to establish that they could hold a conversation and then trying to schedule (not necessarily go on) a date within at least 3 days of matching. I started implementing everything for real in late April 2024 and met my current boyfriend (from Hinge) less than 2 months later!
I used hinge and said if that didn’t work out, I said I’d use a matchmaker. So not a bad idea there. I definitely understand dating with a hard work schedule. I just worked it in, whether it was messaging on company time or doing a dinner after work or even weekends, a FaceTime while I cooked dinner. Work is extremely important because that’s how we get income and if you want to move up you’ve gotta give it a lot of energy. But the way I see it, I don’t want to end up alone and I want to have kids, so sometimes, I gave less of my energy to work. But that’s just me. Different things work for different people. I hope that perspective is helpful.
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I don’t think matchmakers are very helpful. I’ve been “headhunted” by matchmakers for their clients/databases with meh results, but you could try reaching out to get on their databases.
It is so challenging, so I feel your pain! I met my husband on Hinge and I feel like the apps can be so it or miss with the selection of guys. I would be patient with the process, and really focus in on dating when you hit a slower period at work. I definitely liked doing a coffee or daytime date on weekends that felt like a lower time commitment.
Also to add - if you feel comfortable sharing your neighborhood with the guys, I found that some of the more thoughtful ones would plan something around my neighborhood which made it way easier to justify the date if I saved commute time
Do matchmakers even work with you if you’re very overweight? I’m resigned to forever alone, thx
Lol. Yes but you pay them a ton of money regardless.
Re: matchmakers, if you’re curious there are a couple super fun and informative episodes of Dear Shandy podcast with “Matchmaker Maria” from Agape Match! TBH it sounds like the most matchmakers don’t guarantee marriage, it’s more finding someone you would even just date with the potential of marriage (not a plug for Agape Match but I am a devoted “Shandy” so will disclaim this is most definitely a plug for the podcast, as if we already didn’t have enough free time 😝)