I’ve been feeling increasingly misunderstood at work. When I speak up to address an issue, or answer a question, I do so calmly, professionally, and with the intention of being constructive. It often gets misread as having a tone or an attitude. It’s frustrating and honestly disheartening.
It feels like no matter how careful I am, the way I communicate gets twisted or taken the wrong way. Meanwhile, I see clear favoritism around me.
I’m tired of walking on eggshells.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Sometimes overly professional vernacular can be seen abrasive. Some word choices by default are going to be seen as aggressive

like

This just happened to my gf, start holding your manager accountable. Keep video recordings of all meetings and bcc yourself on emails ( make darn sure you have a paper trail for EVERYTHING,) meaning any messages in slack or messaging app, any meeting you’re in send a follow up email with the recording and your notes on what you need to do.

Make sure you ask “ am I understanding what you’re needing done here? Is there anything else I am missing or misunderstanding?”

You’ll need to send an email to hr before you start recording to inform them as to why and why you need the recordings “ FOR ME TO GET BETTER” let them know what and why and make sure that is documented as well

I would say something like this to hr


~~~~I said this twice because this is important ~~~~~

“ I am doing this to make sure I am understanding what I am doing wrong and how to be better in the future.”

~~~~~I said this twice because this is important~~~~~

If your boss gets anything other than excited you’re taking accountability… they’re trying to push you out.

This is a common practice by a lot of “new bosses” when they just do not like you personally. They can and will find a reason to get rid of you.

Respond in kind and make sure if you’re going to get fired… you get a severance or if the harassment is enough send a letter letting them know you’ll be filing a complaint if and when that happens.


Any way, I know these situations can be hard… I’ve been there a few times… keep your head up. Keep crushing and and for the love of god, do not give them a reason and if you do have a job lined up after…best of luck!

like

Context needed... What type of feedback are you providing? I ask because there is a possibility that the message you are trying to deliver is not wanted. In turn its being perceived as hostile/aggressive regardless of your tone. I encountered this early in my career. Tread carefully....

like

I am sorry to hear that. I have been in your shoes and I know how tough that is. I would suggest looking for something else if you are feeling that way. Environments like that usually do not get better.

like

Supervisor1 is correct. You can do all of the analysis you want and do all the things ….. unfortunately, at the end of day, your feedback, opinion is unwanted. You’re not valued. It hurts me to write it, so it may hurt you to read it.

You need to start looking for another role where you are valued. I’ve been in this position before and it sucks, it’s hurtful, it’s unfair. But, you can control only you.

I don’t know the exact circumstances etc. but I would keep my mouth shut, go into survival mode so that when you leave, you can do so on good terms.

like

That can happen, sometimes our best efforts at reading the room just don't work and we can have problems communicating. Something you might try is to talk to your manager and address the fact that your communication seems to be misinterpreted. Perhaps there's something you could do to adjust your tone. That might be an awkward conversation to have, but trying that is probably better than continuing to deal with the constant frustration of being misunderstood.

Such a frustrating position to be in - and I know it well. I do think that this is something women face disproportionately (not sure if you're female or not) because women who have questions or concerns or want to raise problems are often seen as being "difficult." If you're not female (or even if you are), I think working on tone (in addition to staying calm) and trying to adjust your approach can help. It's frustrating when it feels like others don't have to do this but can be worth it. You could also express these concerns to your manager and ask for feedback on your communication

Related Posts

Transplants, curious to know what brought you to Houston?

like

Having worked with energy now for a decade, I find myself enjoying the craziness of it all: You're always two decisions (in Moscow or Riyadh) away from prices halving or doubling. War or no war is quite often a sensitivity, and adoption of EVs/renewables/biofuels will be between X and 10X. Find it hard to imagine doing strategy work in the less volatile/crazy domains - what could be more exciting than this 😋

like

Is there anyone who can discuss the current development trend of the world economy? I am very willing to learn and share what I know.

like

Does anyone have the flex travel / flyout policy number? I can't find it online and myt&e auditors kicked my ticket charge back 😐

like

Any recommendations on credit cards with lounge access? Currently have the Chase Sapphire Reserve which has Priority Pass, but have been turned away from lounges not accepting PP at peak times

Hi Fishes, How is the WLB in FMR, Getting mixed reactions for this question and also bonus to too much in CTC, is it the same case with everybody. HM said that there is lot of work in AWS cloud , is it correct ?

like

How safe is this company in terms of work life balance ? Employees centric values ? How safe you feel working in NTT data during this recession / About to come recession?

like

Hourly rate for freelance Sr Designer in NYC, any ranges?

like

Hi! I have 2.5 years consulting experience & 4 years industry (B2B Sales) experience. What level should I be targeting for in cloud S&O. Is IC-5 too junior?

like

Hi all can I get 11 likes to unlock DM

like

Hi all! Was wondering if anyone could give a referral/insight into moving into sustainability/climate roles in big4, mbb or at CBRE . I have 5 years exp in research analysis/data wrangling/business development in nonprofit and industry consulting, but I want to pivot to sustainability/environment work as its something I really enjoy. My education is in environmental policy and I have internships in renewables/built environment. KPMG PwC Boston Consulting Group

like

Ugh, is that time of year again! Does anyone have any advice on how to handle "friends" and family members who spout conspiracy theories to avoid getting the flu shot

like

Is there delay happening in joining Wipro for people who are supposed to join in August?

Wipro Infosys Tata Consultancy Capgemini Cognizant

like

C&F question: any attorneys here with a DUI conviction on your record? If so, did you have any issues clearing Character & Fitness in a new jurisdiction?

DUI occurred nearly two years ago as a senior associate in state X with no corresponding discipline in state X; however, now trying to get admitted into state Y...

Obviously, this is an extremely regrettable event, and will make that clear to C&F, along with post-DUI progress.

Curious if anyone else here went through something similar.

like

After you are stealth laid off, other than job search, what do you do? I assume they won’t give you work and even if they do, you can politely decline? How do you feel about you are not progressing anymore and seeing other people progressing in their career? I have no intention to make partner, but still feel a bit stuck not doing that much.

like

We have a big project going on and I am the only point person(initiate it, did lot of work, and knows the deets well), seems like my mgr wants to get a headcount. But I want to use this opportunity to get promoted, how can I get this across? Mgr is new(they fired my old mgr), mgr’s mgr is new too(re-org). So not sure if I should/can make a case, or how.

like

Do senior managers have an employment contract? what is the weeks of pay for separations (severance pay)?

likeuplifting

Curious, does anyone have perspective to share about CloudGaia? Good, bad, something else, etc?

like

Anyone play Legends of Runeterra? I think I might be addicted 😂

like
like

Additional Posts in Jobs in Finance

I have been going on interviews and noticed 2 department heads already assume I was laid off or fired due to a 4 months gap. I explained I left my last role due to short term health issues that have been resolved. Not even sure how to respond when they assume. Any advise? Thanks!

like

What salary should be expected of a business control role in Citadel securities, working under CFO/CRO office in NYC. With total 10+ YOE.
This role sits directly under enterprise risk head.

@citadel

like

Does anyone work for UBS? What corporate title would a "manager" be? AVP or VP? Or AD?

Any advice on transitioning from a Wealth Management Role to something more analytical? Preferably private equity or investment analysis/due diligence. Have about 4 YOE, located in Boston

like

Corporate Development M&A Comp, WLB, etc.. at a big Shop (Blackrock, Blackstone)

like

Is Barclay's a good bank to work for? I'm looking for all feedback - the good, the bad, and the ugly

like

Hi all,

Can anyone share some insights on the Associate managing consultant role at Mastercard? I am curious to understand the culture, the projects and the salary as well.

I can't DM yet as I am new so please feel free to DM me.

like

Hi y’all! I’m a financial educator and my job is to help families in need of financial education! I help anyone on learning how money works here in the US & how to get rid of debt! I offer financial products that help you protect and grow your money. I’d love to help you out in reaching your personal financial needs!
I’m also always looking for people to hire!

like

Happy Halloween! Who says Financial Professionals are not creative? Share what you dressed up as for work today?

like
like

How often do you cry at your job? I cry usually one day a week triggered by stress/overwhelm but want to know if this is a typical response

like

Does anyone have an idea or range of salaries for PIMCO? As either an Associate or Senior Associate? i’m looking to transition back to CA from Dallas. I’m currently at goldman.

like

Does anyone here work at Ameriprise financial? If so, would you recommend it? What is the work life balance like? I have an interview for a Advisory trading specialist role. Thanks!

likehelpful

Anyone here with experience as a Product Manager? I’ve close to decade of consumer lending experience including Sales/Advisory, Supervisor and Underwriting. I have have been looking to pivot into a more impactful role this year. I am due for an interview for a Product Manager next week. The company ticks all my boxes but the job description a bit vague. I will be grateful if anybody willing to share what the day role looks like and what I need to look out for in an interview. Thanks. Cheers.

What would be the best method to transition from a financial advisory role to a more financial analyst focused position? Is this type of move unheard of/too difficult to do?

I have a contact who is a hiring mgr at a company I want to work for. He told me he has an open role for me and set me up with 6 interviews over a 2 week period. They all went really well and HR said I’ll most likely be moving forward to a site visit. But now my contact has ghosted me. After I made 3 outreaches he had his aa schedule time for two weeks out. Why am I being iced?

like

I’m looking to get into the banking world. I have 3 yoe in FinTech as an analyst and a manager. I’m interested in becoming an analyst at JP Morgan or Raymond James. Can anyone share what the WLB would be as an analyst? Or any suggestions on other companies I’m not thinking of? Located in Tampa, FL.

like

How does first 3 months at JPMorgan Chase look like.
I have been hired as Regulatory Reporting analyst?
Any tips??

like

I was offered a high net worth client associate position with fidelity. I have never worked in a call center environment.
Can anyone that has worked in that position tell me what its like and what to expect? Is it more like an administrative position and boring or do you really get to help clients? All feedback is appreciated!

likeuplifting
like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal