Need some wisdom and perspective. What’s a healthy way to think/ get through when I’m both trying to change job *and* trying to decide about baby no2. I am 40. My industry is dying. I need and want to get out. But worried I can’t put that baby decision off either. More in comment..

If you actually want a baby, I would go for the baby. There isn’t a huge difference between trying for a particular role at 40 vs, say, 43. But there may be a huge change in your fertility.

Don’t put off the baby! I did and I struggled getting pregnant. I am 44 one round of failed IVF and I regret not starting sooner. I just wanted to be in a good place in order to have a baby. Once the baby comes you can redshift your focus to your career and everything will work out. Everything always works out.

Hey Sister, I think you’re thinking about it too hard. At the end of the day with the most important thing is your legacy your family if that job should find you who will be there your legacy your family you are 40 get started. Everything else will manage itself here an accountant you can already preplanned pre-prepare as much as you can and during that time you’ll get the much-needed rest as well.

I can only give my two cents as a sibling, my sister as b*tchy as she is, she is my best friend and she rarely admits it but I’m hers also. While growing up, she was a snitch and she was annoying-er than she is today, my childhood would have been boring without her and at the end of the day, we had each others backs. We are also only 2 years apart and I am older so idk if that plays into affect at all

You need to decide with your partner if both really want another child first. There is no right or wrong answer here - only what works for you two. If you do want another one, you should address it soon due to your age. I wish women didn’t have the proverbial genetic clock but we do. You can always move over to another industry later. You could also try working part time (after the baby) in the new industry in a lesser role to get some experience and try it out first. Try before you buy approach.

I interviewed and accepted a job when 8 months pregnant. Granted this was 30 years ago and there was NO such thing as maternity leave so I wasn't leaving anything on the table by changing jobs. But they didn't blink that I was pregnant and wanted to start after the baby was born. If they would do that then, I wouldn't worry so much about your decision. Get pregnant if you want. The right job and boss won't care

More: So the thing I’m struggling with is just how to recalibrate my thinking. Both of them are on an unknown timeline. Should we try to get pregnant straight away and just take the maternity pay that I’d get (3 months?) and put off trying to sector-switch? Or do I do the hard work now in the networking and the career coaching and cross the baby bridge if and when it comes? I guess my fear is the stars will align in a way that I’ll get a job when I’m already pregnant. I’m playing chess with myself. Thanks for any help, either philosophical or pragmatic 🙏

I think you might already know the answer and know what you need to do, you just want some validations so you can cross those fears come with it. At the end of the day, no matter what you choose, there will be some regrets, but you need to choose your poison and believe that you are making the right choice for yourself!

Focus on conceiving, if you want another baby.