Question for the women who are the primary breadwinners. I cover almost all our bills while my partner fritters away his money, then dares to call me financially abusive when I ask him to contribute more. I'm successful in sales because I'm driven and responsible, but I'm watching my marriage crumble over his financial immaturity. The resentment is eating me alive. What would you do if you were in this kind of relationship?

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Talk. To. Him. This is never going to work out if you two can't get on the same page. If his default response is to shut you down by saying you're being "financially abusive" - whatever that means - whenever you broach the subject, you need to bring a therapist or marriage counselor into the mix. Some unbiased third party who can hear both sides and provide a path towards a resolution. If he's serious about staying in the marriage, he shouldn't have any problem with doing this. If he refuses, you might have to move on.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I would first try communicating this to him (perhaps with the help of a therapist) and giving him a few months to change his ways. I'd also try to dig deeper - why do you think he's "frittering away money"? If no change/desire to change after those months, it might be time to leave

Money is one of the hardest, but most important topics for couples. A third neutral party might be a great idea, or just sitting down and having a very open and honest conversation. Think of how you can make it work for both of you. Separate finances, set up responsibilities, whatever works for you. Don’t worry about what the norm is for others.

Sending you a virtual hug because I know, from my own experience, that this is a heavy load to carry. I finally asked myself what I was getting back from the relationship (like measuring ROI, in a way), and if it matched what I was putting in. For me, it led to some major life changes, but I don’t regret them.

I think maybe consider therapy to discuss finances.

Couples therapy because if not you need to leave him.

Do you have kids?

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