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This isn't a direct answer to your question, but based on your post, my top question for you: Is having a job with a huge workload what you truly want?
Whenever we have a big life change, of course having a kiddo is one of the biggest, our values and priorities will naturally shift.
My personal story: I was very career driven for a long time but over the past couple years I realized it was because that's what I *thought* I should be focused on. I had my worth ti d up in my title and importance at work.
Through quite a bit of introspection I've learned that I don't actually care about career trajectory all that much. I would rather focus on having a balance and enjoying life. The stress past work out on my way NOT worth it and I'd rather not have that level of responsibility.
That may or may not resonate for you, but based on your post, it seems like it's time for introspection and realigning your values to what is important to YOU. Remove the fears, insecurities, and shoulds and just get real with what YOU value in your heart.
If a job with a huge workload is it, cool. Just be open and transparent in your interview on what you've learned over the past months and why this specific work is interesting. Consider: what might their hesitations be for hiring you and why do they not have to worry about those things?
I have a spouse that has been pushing me to go after senior leadership positions at work. I realized that while mI do want more $$$, I don't want nor am I good at the politics that go along with these roles.
Instead, I will be adding new skills and staying as an individual contributor. However, increasing one's technical skills, plus working on my side gigs, will bring the $$$ without the added risks of politics going wrong or middle management layoffs. Sure, I can get laid off as an individual too - but the tech skills will make it easier to find something else a lot faster.
You have a beautiful baby to show for the last 2 years! Growing, birthing, and sustaining a human is a ton of work. It’s okay that you didn’t necessarily make any major work contributions during that time.
Going back to work after having my baby was a huge challenge for me as well. I had to come to terms with the fact that my days of long hours and work is life attitude are over.
When I got an opportunity in a new role at work, I made it very clear my priorities were my child first and I could only contribute 8 hours a day. Setting those boundaries really helped. They knew before they hired me what my limitations were and I stick to them. I work my 8 hours, if my daughter is sick, I stay home. I work hard while I’m there and leave when I need to.
Don’t beat yourself for demanding work life balance.
Love this - I feel like the culture is shifting from “you can have it all!!” to “why would you want to have it all?” We can have a productive career and be good caretakers without killing our selves
Take some time to reflect what you truly want. It sounds like the new baby world has spread you thin, be sure you’re not just going through the motions. You can lose a lot of years this way!
Prioritize your work life balance and self care time. 3 kids, my self care is imperative in being successful both professionally and personally.
What bought you peace pre-baby? Do that again a few hours a week then once you’re more at peace with yourself and ultimately be able to focus.
The laundry will always be there, be okay with that (it’s such a relief when you are able to be ok).
The dirty floors can wait a few hours or even the day….
Learn to not look down and you’ll never see the toys and clothes haha but also be proud of where you’ve come and what you’ve done the last two years! It’s all an accomplishment in your own way.
Good luck!
Thanks, this is super helpful!
How does your family factor into your decision-making? What impact did it have on your current situation?
We are at very different places. That said, I have been where you are. I retired ~3 years ago. I equate it with a pebble in the water . A few ripples, then they disappear as if they were never there. My contribution is forgotten. Others filled in. My family endures.