There’s a difference between being challenged and being destabilized. One grows you. The other shrinks you. How do you tell which one you’re in?

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I agree that perception plays a role. For me, the difference shows up in what happens after the challenge. If I feel clearer, more capable, and supported, it was growth. If I feel smaller, anxious, or constantly second-guessing myself, that’s destabilizing.

Toxic for one is a challenging hurdle for some

Agreed!

Usually they are the people who are now in leadership

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