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Are we basing our response both as a speaker and a listener in our personal emotions and/or egos? Or are we basing our responses in empathy? This applies to both sides of a discussion. I think personal attacks come when neither side is willing to listen to the other and neither side is willing to adapt or change their mind which requires letting go of ego and emotions.
There is an assumption, I believe, that the other persons intent is harm. Instead of asking questions, they accuse, label, and demonize based off of their own assumptions and judgements. No one is a person any longer. They are just an assemblance of propaganda and stereotypes.
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I think too that very few people seek to truly understand why someone they disagree with believes differently, and how they could possibly have another opinion. Instead, the idea is that anyone who thinks ______ is ignorant.