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I view it as a welcome relief to NOT have to be responsible for planning every detail of things like family outings. I get to relax and enjoy and trust that others are perfectly capable too.
Plus, so what if something doesn’t go perfectly?
Serendipity may be fun.
Food for thought: being in control (micro managing) may be your jam, but be assured those on the receiving end find it tiring especially outside of work.
I started taking anti anxiety meds and it has been incredible.
It was a bit of a transition for sure as my intensity / perfectionism definitely relaxed a little bit… but turns out even my version of “laid back” is still more intense and on top of it than most. Felt like a significant shift for me, but no one else noticed!
And I was able to relax more outside of work. Can’t help but think about how much energy I have wasted needlessly over the years…
I used to think that if I wasn’t managing the details, everything would go sideways. But I’ve had enough experiences now where I wasn’t in charge, and things still went fine.
Sounds like anxiety. Xanax, or yoga, exercise, weed.
Therapy! (Genuine wholehearted recommendation)