Can a workplace be toxic even if it looks ‘calm’ on the surface? No yelling. No obvious abuse. Just constant nitpicking, moving goalposts, and backhanded compliments. It’s slowly eroding my confidence. Am I overreacting or gas-lighting myself?

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Your description of toxic workplaces is common. In a way, the toxic places where you are yelled at/cursed at/treated poorly are easier for working because you can clearly see the toxicity.

When it’s subtle or always bright and happy sunshiney people even when things are going poorly or everyone is wearing rose colored glasses and everything is great, then it’s really challenging. If something “bad” is mentioned or something realistic proposed, you become a target for removal or subtle retaliation. (I know because this is the culture of the company for.

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Absolutely. You're not wrong when you feel it. Subtle toxicity exists.

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Absolutely, I experienced something similar myself and it was just exhausting

Yes!

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