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No advice but know you are not alone 🫠
This is comforting hearing this. Thanks!
Lock the door. Seriously. I just went through this, he turns 3 next month.
I tried everything else. Perfect routine, colored lights, so many books and stuffed animals. I couldn't even get him to stay in the bed. It also kept getting later. 730 turned to 8, to 815, 830, 845 and 9. Lights would go out, but then keep me in there until 10 some nights, and even later if he dozed off but woke up again.
Finally I got frustrated enough that I walked out and actually locked the door behind me so that I could decompress. He cried for a while, but eventually went to play by himself before I'd finished a chore. The next night, I tried it again and he cried for maybe 3 minutes before he decided to play. The 3rd night he didn't even cry or try the door. After a week he stopped jumping out of bed. After a month he now asks me to leave after lights out. I haven't needed to lock the door in a while, but I do have to threaten it some days, "the door will only lock if you get out of bed". It's manipulative, but better for all parties.
There's no doubt that you guys know your kids better than anyone else, but I was in your spot 4 months ago. It was far from the first time I'd left the room, and there were a few times that I was sure he'd cry himself into sickness too.
It started with warnings that I'd leave, then warnings that I'd be back in X amount of time. The kids can process an awful lot by 2.5 yo.
I think the effective part was twofold: 1. Assurance that he'd be okay and that I'm still nearby. 2. Firmness that I'm leaving and he needs to deal with it. Those two factors nullified the manipulation that he was trying to pull.
Fair warning: the nights get even longer with potty training. The potty becomes yet another stalling tactic.
melatonin…1mg. some kids just need some help to sleep. Yes- it’s safe and healthy.
A course - nurture first, big little feelings (I think). There are too many factors here to touch on that we’d have to get into so that’s my best recommendation.
Having the same issue with my 15 month old.
Ahhh yes!!! I have been in the same boat with my 2 year old and could've almost written this post myself 2 weeks ago. Expecting baby #2 so working on this is especially important now.
Two things that have helped TREMENDOUSLY so far:
1. Rent/buy/read the book Llama Llama Red Pajama. Or do what we do and listen to this child narrate the book on YouTube: https://youtu.be/K7evZs9iRoU?feature=shared
After reading the book a few times, tell your child that you have chores to tend to, need to brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, whatever. Let them know you will be back soon to check on them, just like in the book. After seeing a clip of a woman cooking the other day, my son said, "That mama busy," and I was like YES (mama llama is busy in the kitchen when baby llama is resting)!!!
2. Find a treat your toddler LOVES and is OBSESSED with. My son had M&Ms like 2 months ago for the first time then kept asking for M&Ms, several weeks later and after just one M&M snack in the past. So I bought M&Ms and told him, "If you don't whine and cry, you can have THREE M&Ms in the morning." I say that again and again and again, especially before I leave the room at night. If he whines a little bit, I reward him in the morning with one M&M and say, "*Name*, you whined a little bit last night. Good job, you didn't cry! But you whined a little bit, so no, you can't have three M&Ms, but you can have one. Yay! Tonight if you do no crying and no whining, you can have THREE M&Ms tomorrow morning. What color M&M do you want?"
P.S. I resisted this but my husband has shown me it works: Just leave (easy if they're still in a crib), let them cry for a short time (don't go in if they're just whining, especially when introducing the above bribe tactic), then come in to kiss/hug/reassure. Our little guy at least settles way quicker that way and sleeps sooner than me remaining present in his room
Cosleeping or the tiniest bit of melatonin. Like 1/4 mg 30 minutes before bed.
That’s just parent life! Have a routine (and forgive yourself when you can’t) speak your expectations, “we’re going to have dinner, then bath, then story time for bed.” And if you know this takes 2 hours, plan for that. My kiddo at one point took 3 hrs and I just changed my own expectations of my time. We live & learn.
It got better when I moved dinner earlier (because food=energy), bath, storytime.
Lights dimmed throughout after dinner.
NO screens even if they’re bed time stories.
Often times the trick is starting earlier bc if they’re over tired they’ll fuss more. When it’s finally time for lights out and they plea for you to stay, tell them how much you love them and you need a big hug. And you can’t wait to see them in the morning! You can say you’ll check on them in 10 min. (And do, but don’t talk so they trust you, and eventually fall asleep. )
If you are a family into devices and sound… I’d go with Dr, Harvey Karp’s baby sleep sounds (worked when LO was a baby). For my 4/5 yo we were into “Brown noise” music.
Melatonin good for 1-2 nights to get routine (after vacations etc). Using more causes my LO night terrors (hasn’t been studied in kids but adults have been know to get nightmares) so go for the ones with herbal blends. I really like Mommy’s Bliss brand.