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A better EM would have said something like, “Oh, I had previously told Associate to only include me in VP-level calls. The circumstances of this Dir-level call were different though. I’ll let Associate know in the future of these one-off cases where I should be invited.”
In your next touchbase with EM, “I saw your message in the slack channel yesterday saying [what she said]. We had discussed both these topics a month ago, where you said you only wanted to be included on VP-level calls. So that was my understanding. [Include 1-2 more specific examples.]. If what we aligned on is no longer correct, please let me know so I can adjust. Either way, I’d appreciate the feedback directly rather than in a public slack.” Gauge their response. Follow up with asking how you can work together to be aligned going forward “would you prefer I do [alternative] instead before sending anything.”
Her response will tell you whether they are being malicious (ie knows it’s their fault and intentionally throwing you under) or absentminded (ie forgot what you had previously aligned on).
If things don’t improve, then go to the skip level. Don’t frame it as blame. Frame it as how you and EM had discussed [examples] and aligned on [what you aligned on] and then you notice in public slack that things don’t hold. Then ask the skip-level for their advice on how they handle those situations when they were in your shoes. It gives awareness to the skip-level of what’s going on, while implying vs directly blaming the EM, and comes across as you asking to learn and grow.
What if the skip level doesn’t care and the EM is being malicious
Call it out with examples and share with ED as well.
Talk to her directly, give concrete examples and politely tell her that you feel that she is being unfair and that also you would appreciate direct feedback not in public channels. If she does it again go with the concrete examples to ED and PDM. She will calm down rapidly after
Talk to your DGL early as protection. Otherwise you’ll be 100% at fault unless your ED pays attention into what you’re doing and trusts
Are you a strong performer with a good track record? Tell the EM the honest feedback and demand better performance