Has anyone in the group been a daycare child themselves? ie from infant through kindergarten? Do you think it helped or hurt you? Do you resent your parents for choosing to work over being with you?

I am thriving at work, but have two little kids now who are in daycare and recently it’s been so hard for me to leave them.

I was a daycare child and I really don’t have any memories of it at all! But I know I always respected my mom working and thought it was really cool that she was making a difference in the world.

Yes I was a daycare kid, and then a before school after care kid. Turned out more than fine still very close my my parents. We speak on the phone each morning and I FaceTime my mom a few times a week and take family vacations together. They also swing by my house whenever just to say hi or hangout. They are also very active in their grandchild’s life (who also attends daycare). Quality vs quantity when it comes to time spent with your kids.

I think the socialization helped me immensely and I was always a pretty social and outspoken child I think in part due to my daycare experience. Never resented my parents I knew they had to work so we could have a nice lifestyle.

I was a daycare kid from 6 weeks old until I was old enough to stay home alone. My parents could not afford to have one of them stay home. I don’t resent my parents for not being born into wealth. And I ended up a lawyer so I don’t think it hindered anything.

I was a daycare kid and remember loving my teachers, friends and doing fun crafts (randomly remember learning to make butter haha) but was too young to remember anything else. I love my mom and I turned out to be a social and successful person. I have my kid in daycare and he’s thriving too. I’m team daycare all the way!

I’m a daycare kid but my mom worked at the daycare. I have an interesting relationship with my mom but not because of daycare/ more so because she was always overwhelmed and busy with work, school, raising so many kids and taking care of in laws and my dad, etc. so she was just always mad and took it out on us.

Overall though the socialization helped me a lot. I love people, I feel like I have a high EQ and I feel like the amount of damage from my mom I could have had is a lot lower because of my exposure in daycare.

Raised by a single mom investment banker, so had a combo daycare/school/nanny from 6 weeks to driving age. I’ve been more capable than my peers since forever, have healthy relationships, and she’s living in my house right now to take care of my third infant. It’ll be okay, I promise.

I love this question! As someone who is thinking about send my little to daycare soon, I always wonder about this as well. Curious to see if folks remember their feelings from that age.

My mom stayed home. I have few memories of it bc i was so young.

My kids went to daycare from 4 months. They are now 12 and 15 and their memories only really started around 3-4 yr old.

It was definitely hardest on me (which is important) but the kids will be fine.

I have a terrible relationship with my mom, but it's because of the person she is. If anything, perhaps one of the only things I respect about her (as a working mom myself) is that by and large she did try and find adequate care for me to ensure my safety when she wasn't around.

FWIW, I liked day care. I'm the youngest of 5 and enjoyed having kids my own age to play with. I was/am proud of how my mom helped others through her work in social services for the county. When I put my daughter in day care, I felt zero qualms about it. She gets frequent quality time and chooses what we do together. Do what works for your family today, and make a different choice later if situation changes. Be nice to yourself--you're doing a great job mama!

I remember waiting to be picked up - from school, from daycare etc. just waiting by the gate alone while it’s getting dark out… I remember feeling irritated and sad even though the day care was run by a loving old lady.

Follow up question - what age are you considering starting daycare?

I did daycare and think it’s helpful, especially for socialization. My sister and I were at Kindercare (a corporate chain), and I remember it pretty fondly — there was a lot of play drawing rainbows and digging for dinosaur bones etc. and I had very good friends who tricked me into trying more foods. Even when my mom quit work for two years we still went (she was just a very present room mom and we came home earlier). I absolutely never thought my parents were choosing work over me at the time, and didn’t really question the setup or know there were alternatives. Even now, I think they were doing their best to raise me and give me opportunities for growth. My mom was very present for me and I always knew she was 100% about her kids.
We have a nanny right now because we can but are planning to start daycare by two because of the benefits of socialization and curriculum.

I was a daycare kid I guess you can say but more so with in-home daycares (which were hit or miss) opposed to facility based daycares. My mom tried to find longterm reasonable care for me, but I unfortunately ended up in the care of lots of different people by the time I hit kindergarten. It was really stressful on me tbh, and I think it made me more skiddish and timid as a child for 3 reasons: 1) Some caregivers secretly hated their job and were passive aggressive to me and other kids(unbeknownst to my parents), 2) too many kids or even worse, older kids, 3) frequent change in childcare/environment.

I strongly believe that a child's self-confidence should be nurtured early, and that is very dependent on child care, not just home life and great parents (which I had/have). I did gain confidence later in early adulthood, but my childhood and school experience overall could've benefited from a stable, solid childcare experience I think. I don't resent my parents because I think they were just trying to get by and make it to the next day.

Knowing what I know now—and yes, all kids are different and this is not a one-size fits all—I think the ideal is this:

1) A steady primary caregiver for the first year (2 years even better), ideally a parent, close family member, or nanny—key is to not change the care-giver often. This person should be affectionate & genuinely caring and kind and shouldn't have more than 1 or 2 other babies in their care. The more babies there are, the less the care-giver is able to emotionally support your baby. That emotional support should *not* be underestimated.

2) Small caregiver to child ratio once the child is a toddler. Socializing a toddler with other kids/toddlers regularly starts to have its benefits by 2.5-3 years old, so this is probably a good age to consider if daycare would be a good option for your family.

I quit my corporate job after trying to make it work for 10 months with my first (he was 13 months by the time I left the workforce). My baby was so miserable after I picked him up from (a reputable) daycare despite seeming pretty content while there. When I was with him though, he was sooo clingy, wasn't sleeping well at night, and only later did I realize he was just missing me and that emotional connection. He never knew when I'd suddenly have to disappear (for work). Babies have no sense of time or when they'll be picked up, and once they're reunited, they'll often unload all those feelings on their parents, especially mom. Breaks my heart that he was like that for months, but I didn't know any better until I saw changes in him later, once I stayed home with him. Better late than never.

Tldr, choose your childcare wisely. Yes, it's important that daycares keep babies safe and fed, but don't neglect your baby's emotional needs just because they're a baby