If your fiancée told you she wanted to change the setting of the engagement ring you chose for her, but had originally said “surprise me” how would you feel? Enraged or no big deal?

Worth breaking up the marriage? That question makes me wonder if you were ready to get engaged / are ready to get married. If she'd like a setting that emphasizes the stone in a different way, no biggie. It's not like she said "I need a bigger rock."

No big deal. She’s the one who has to wear it every day.

Yeah I wanted to poll men’s reaction - hopefully no one is offended by that. These responses were much more reasonable than some of the posts from other women who claimed "they would be thankful that the women saved them the trouble of marrying such a shallow person”

The difference in reactions is a little surprising to me, thanks again guys.

Women - Can't live with 'em...can't live without 'em. Smart men keep quiet and agree with everything women say...that is the recipe of happy companionship and longevity of your relationship.

A wise saint once said: You can never win against a woman

Just agree to her choice of bling...it is not a big deal.

We now know who wears the pants in P1’s relationship

Setting just refers to the metal part that holds the stone in place on the ring, yeah? If you’re asking about whether someone changing their mind over that minor detail is worth breaking up over, sounds like there is more going on.

Is your fiance also a consultant? There was another post on Fishbowl recently with someone asking how to tell their fiance that they love the stone but want a new setting. Sounds like the consensus there was the guy should just change it as she has to wear it every day...and NBD on reading into it re: future marriage well being.

She’s just asking for a different engagement ring. Nothing more nothing less. Just go back to the jeweler and see what you can work out

I wouldn't care at all. It's her ring, not yours. The goal is to make her happy.

No big deal...look at the long term. Rather be happy than resentful

A lot of the responses here have been directed at OP as if he was already married. Fiancée means engaged, not married. So, OP, make sure this is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with (and potentially the mother of your children, if you want kids) before you tie the knot. Marriage is a serious thing and is not to be entered into frivolously.
/rant

Did you ask her sister or best friend for advice on what she might like before buying it? If so yes lol. If not, no big deal

She appreciated the effort and loved the stone.. worth breaking up the marriage? Big red flag?

Can you provide more context? Did she say Yes, then immediately ask for a new ring? Does seem a bit high maintenance. But hey that’s what some dudes look for I guess.

Happy wife = happy life. I would not worry about that but would note it when you attempt to buy her any jewelry in the future

Perhaps she was overconfident in your design aesthetic.. you didn't get her something super trendy or ultra chintzy looking, did you?

No big deal. In a marriage, you'll have to overcome tougher issues than this together. Maybe you're not ready and should reconsider for that reason alone.

Nbd

Just switch it out. My wife didn’t like the wedding band I got her so has been walking around with just an engagement ring for 5 years. I finally came thru with a custom wedding band that matches the engagement ring and she loves/wears it.

C1 I think it's just someone trying to get the opinion of "the guys" on the same topic! Sorry OP if it's not the case
Happy that on this thread people are bien imo more reasonable and realizing that changing something material is not big deal