I’m leaving my firm to stay at home with my kids at a time when there is significant opportunity for career growth. I have never been so torn and conflicted in my life.

As someone who is not financially able to stay home with my kid because I’m the breadwinner, I’d say take the opportunity to stay home if it’s financially feasible. Career growth can happen anytime, your kids are only little once.

Why are you doing this instead of hiring help?

If you don’t need the money, this is the best thing. You will not regret spending time with your family. But manage your expectations. The longer you are out the harder it may be to return, especially at the same level and pay.

Don’t. Your kids will benefit massively from your career growth

When I sat down and planned out retirement, spending time with my family was my top goal. This made me realize that my dream is really to spend a ton of time with my kids when they’re little (when I finally have them).

I try to make big decisions based around the question of whether or not I’d regret passing up the opportunity. If I think I’ll regret not doing it, then it’s worth the price to try it and see, and to live a life without regret. This sounds like one of those forks in the road where there may be some level of regret either way. I say go with the one you know you can never get back - time with your kids when they’re little. It may take some hard work, but you can almost certainly get back to that place where your career is taking off once they’re older and in school.

My husband and I are planning for me to step back to part time at my firm this year (and then fully pause, if that doesn't work well). My babies are 1 and 3. It's a tough choice. My salary gives us a lot of financial freedom and comfort and would obviously help provide opportunities for our children that they may not have if we become a one income household. That said, we've been fortunate to be able to save and invest a lot, and that money will be working for us even while I'm out of the paid workforce. I do think it'll be interesting to see how I respond to not having the "dopamine hits" you described of accomplishing something at work-- I did the whole law review, order of the coif, federal clerkship, firm life thing (though I avoided big law entirely, so I've always skewed to the life side of the work/life balance choice). My dream was always to be a wife and mom and to stay home with my babies, though! I enjoy my job and feel competent in it. But being a mom is what fulfills me.

I hope this is not a stupid question but if it’s something you want why are you conflicted about it?

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Part time an option?

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