I'm six months in and already carrying everyone else's emotional baggage about the past. I didn't experience it, but I'm hearing about it constantly. Is this healthy team bonding, or am I being inducted into collective trauma?

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I think it's a good opportunity to practice boundaries around telling people when you don't want to hear about certain things. Encourage them to move forward and not linger on the past. Sometimes people just need a gentle reminder or redirection.

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Yeah, that’s a really good point. Setting those boundaries makes a big difference and helps everyone move on.

This is about as far from healthy coworker bonding as you can get. I learned a long time ago that I tell people right away when they start bringing up past drama/trauma that I'm here to work, but I'm not interested in what happened in the past. I strictly separate work from personal life. I don't associate with coworkers outside of work. I can be friendly while working but keep the conversation very neutral. You are entitled to a pleasant workplace and sometimes you just gotta say leave me out of it.

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Totally, keeping work and personal life separate really does make things less messy. Being friendly but neutral sounds like the perfect balance.

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I had an experience like that once, I heard a lot of stories about a former boss and what a monster they had been. A lot of it was presented in kind of a funny way, so it didn't really seem like trauma. If you're going through something similar to that, but it's meant in all seriousness, that honestly doesn't sound too healthy. At some point people need to move on, and in your case there's no reason at all to get pulled into it.

Yeah, exactly. It’s one thing to share old stories, but when it turns into constant negativity, it just drains the energy.

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Definitely not healthy. And allowing them to draw you into it just allows them to add you to their stress.

Exactly, it just ends up draining you too for no reason.

You definitely have to protect your peace and not allow others to get to you. I would say having some boundaries with people at your job should be a must. A lot of people go through things but we are at work and the place should be treated like a work place.

Chatty Kathie at our job feels the need to tell every employee even when she changes her stained panties. One day she phones me on my shift without telling identifying herself only be "starting off the call with" "let me tell you about my husband". It so shook me up only to now sadly learn and from her own evil bad assed self say she deliberately phoned to stress me out. Think of that when you have these creatures that DO know better, that DO have people to talk to, family, friends, as well as a full time job, then take it from where it comes. It's clearly representative of a toxic unhealthy work place otherwise a leader supervisor or manager would put an abrupt end to any and all lack of professionalism.

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