I’m working on a deal where opposing counsel and I have done many transactions previously and are professionally friendly. Our mutual clients…not so much. We got a few emails from the other sides business team last week and our client has directed us neither to acknowledge/respond to them nor to opposing counsel. OC is now starting to follow up with me on a personal level. Where do professionalism and duties owed to clients start to mix here?

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Your client definitely gets to decide whether or not to accept a proposal and what deal terms they want or don't, and should be consulted and their wishes honored when it comes to general overall strategy. But I don't think they get to tell you you're not allowed to even talk to opposing counsel because that could end up being a violation of your professional and ethical duties.

It's probably going to be a delicate conversation with opposing counsel letting them know that you are following your clients wishes and then a careful conversation with your client about what they do and do not get to dictate.

If you're still an associate, and if this is a partner's client, I would definitely have a conversation with the partner first.

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Agreed, and how you communicate with OC "in front of your client" like over email (esp bc any email could be forwarded to anyone) can be different than your relationship with that OC otherwise such as over the phone or in person. You could easily have other matters together that require a different tack than this client wants to dictate, best to maintain professional collegiality with each other.

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Is this a transaction or something headed into litigation? Seems strange to decline to acknowledge receiving something if it’s part of a deal?

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