Imagine being a lawyer and trying to help your fiance navigate an allegation that he fathered a child with his ex about 3 years ago. He knew she was pregnant during their on and off relationship but they stopped contact at the point she gave birth because he claimed she cheated and she claimed she started dating a guy while she was 8 months pregnant. She ended up engaged with that same guy only for their engagement to end shortly after I got proposed to and instead of reaching out to my fiance

Run while you still can. Don’t get pregnant by him or tie yourself to him legally (marriage or otherwise). The ex-wife and existing kid situation comes with enough challenges without adding a messy potential babymamma battle. His unwillingness to put you all on the best footing going into marriage and provide you reassurance of the matter being resolved before getting married is a sign that he values his convenience and comfort over you and your relationship.

The way that this man is handling this issue is representative of the way he will handle
all issues in your life together. Tread carefully.

Ah man. You need some therapy to figure out why you tolerate dating someone that treats you and others this way. Don't accept this kind of drama for yourself.

Dump him.

Your fiancé sounds like a terrible person to be honest. What kind of man stops talking to a woman who he knew was pregnant and that the child might be his without finding out from the jump whether it was or not? Are you really cool with the fact that he didn’t see anything wrong with never having a relationship or supporting a child that could be (or is) his? Either way, you’re right to pursue an answer to this now. If it is his child, the ex could always change her mind and come after him years from now for child support, and your fiancé could end up with a 6 figure judgement against him for back child support since he knew from the pregnancy that the child might be his.

Seems like the plot of a not very good lifetime movie. You can opt out of this mess by simply walking away. If you have a kid together, figure out a custody arrangement that works. You can still be friends if you want, but why would you want to marry into this hot mess and make this the rest of your life. Surely he cannot be that good looking or rich enough to put up with all this (if he is, get a prenup asap that makes sure you get some money when he inevitably cheats).

Get out.

Your fiancé needs to hire his own attorney and deal with this himself. It’s not your responsibility and if he doesn’t want to pursue it, that’s his prerogative. I would not get married to him, though, until this is resolved.

…..continued. She reached out to me to break the news to me. We have asked her to do a private dna to which she flaked on. Wasted months, time, and money. Now we are pursuing the matter legally. She claims to not want to pursue her support claim against him because she didn’t think my fiance would be a good parent (even though he has a kid already) and now has disappeared while there is an active case with the AOG’s office. Yet my fiance thinks this is nothing to worry or pursue and resolve because she’s just acting out. He also finds ways of telling me my efforts to make sure this matter is resolved now is me chasing an illusion. He is convinced that there is a greater risk in her not responding to a court order than us trying to move a case against her and seeing the petition to the end. His proof is based on her flaking on the private dna appt. He claims she won’t show up again but my brain still processes this an existing threat whether or not she is gone because there’s no saying she’ll not be motivated in the future to pick this back up. And his words it’s not my child is insufficient. I feel so self defeated that the past decisions of 2 adults are affecting me this negatively. He’s now asking me to wait to pick this up in January because it is affecting his business immediately after we finally just got in contact with an attorney at the AoG’s office after months of trying to get status on the case which only happened because I kept calling the office