Is advocating for yourself during negotiations the same as bragging? I’m a bad negotiator especially when it comes to me. It feels like bragging and I can’t get over the feeling. Help me out these into perspective.

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Stick to real facts. If you have a solid track record that is proven and a achievements on paper, that’s a fact you can talk about. If you have a many years of experience and a high education, those are also facts. I can understand how it can feel weird and a bit like bragging. It requires a bit of a mindset shift, but it can be done. You’re just negotiating and advocating for yourself with hard evidence on why you deserve the higher salary. It doesn’t mean you think you’re better than anyone else. But experience, education, and skills are very reasonable things to use when negotiating for the higher end of the salary range.

And lastly, employers expect candidates to negotiate. It’s a very normal part of the recruitment and hiring process. So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to them.

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Good points. I do have to work on a mindset shift for sure. I’m also trying to see how I can negotiate for more $ in my current role. I guess I always get a feel that leadership always finds a way to provide a reason for not giving is a bigger raise. They talk me up, but when performance reviews come, they say they can only give a certain amount out and start nitpicking on things. But I’ll work on listing my achievements better. Thank you!

The difference between bragging and representing one's own true value is staying rooted in objective facts as opposed to opinions. Stick with sharing only the attributes and experiences that are specific to the role and company values. Your goal should be to lay out an accurate picture of who you are and the positives that you bring to the table rather than trying to shape anyone's opinion.

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I’ll have to work on the representing part! Listing it out as facts is a good perspective. Thank you.

Showing off actual factual work is just justifying your asking salary comp. Flashing out there overinflated or over selling an opinion is bragging. Also, it is all in how you word things. There's absolutely nothing wrong with standing your ground as long as you can back it up. Acting like a peacock in heat is a different story.

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I’ve never seen a peacock in heat. Hah but, I get what you’re saying. Thanks

Same. I am very confident in my skill set. But I struggle "selling myself" that translated to me not advocating for myself when it came to negotiating salary. Where did that get me? Overworked/Under paid.
I am going into this New Year, manifesting good things. Cause ykw? I'm worth it! Have always been worth it. And in today's market with high ass everything! You have to advocate for yourself.
I'm learning that and staying firm. It feels weird, and outside of my comfort zone.
But you have to believe your standards are just scaring off those opportunities not meant for you.
Your and my time will come, and it will be glorious! It has too.

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Thank you for the motivation! So easy to say but I need to work on it for sure.

Instead of calling it bragging, frame it as explaining how you are the best person to solve their need. Then you advise how much that solution is going to cost them using facts.

Whatever you call it, you're shooting yourself in the foot if you don't become good at it.

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Thanks for that perspective

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