I’ve been told I’m “too direct” in client meetings. I’m getting tired of softening my voice and padding my emails just to avoid being labeled “abrasive.” Is it even possible to be assertive without being called aggressive?

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Not as a woman, no. I was told the same even though I provided examples of men's communications that were identical to mine. Men are authoritative, women are aggressive. That's my observation after decades in the workplace. Being succinct and truthful is not "too direct" and if they don't like it then it's on them, not you.

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It is not possible as a woman. I got told I hurt someone’s feelings recently. The person neglected work they knew had a deadline, which then forced me to work over the weekend to meet the deadline. I’ve also gotten the too direct comment, even though most men are just as direct, and every business communications class you take tells you to get to the point in e-mails. I just take the feedback, nod my head, and move on, because when I do speak up it doesn’t help.

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I would request more feedback and specific suggestions and then consider it. I come from a culture of Don’t say No to the client but let’s think of a better way to frame the No for all parties to come to a different solution.

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