ladies how to stop flashbacks? i restarted going on dates after break up 4 months ago, and I thought i already forgot my ex, but now small details, because of dating environment, probably, i start getting "flash backs", and it does not allow me to fully focus on new men,
thank you

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Make a list of what you want in the next partner… likely it will remind you of what you didn’t want from your ex. Lean into the new list… it does work. Now w awesome partner for 4 yrs and able to use the list that reminds me why the ex is an ex at every turn. You got this!

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List example - https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating?language=

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Yes agree with above. Sometimes you have to force yourself to refocus and realize that you’re doing right by you in searching for a new, better partner for yourself

likehelpful

Honestly, therapy will help a lot

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already there

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You weren’t ready to start dating again. Get out of the pool and get therapy until you can appreciate someone new for who they are.

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update: so far on each new date i mostly notice in what the "ex" was better..((

and i suddenly started missing the ex, although i thought it s already in the past.
i miss him exactly when i am on dates with "other" men, not in my ordinary life

A2 i really liked how calm, smart, "warm", attentive he was.

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