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Hey Op, i feel for you. Are there other churches you can visit? Culture does differ from church to church and people differ from church to church, so you may need to visit some churches to see what fits you. What does not change is your identity in Christ. You will always be a child of God and therefore an heir to God’s kingdom.
Glad youre making an effort to make it out to church and find community, bc even God lives in community (trinity).
Not sure I can give you any advice or any answers, but just wanted you to get a reply and remind you that God loves you and he loves you so much that he sent Jesus to die for your sins
OP I have had some friends use friendship apps (like Bumble bffs) and they met some great friends that way! As far as reconnecting to God, are there any retreats you can go to nearby? Sounds like you need to reset with prayer (at least that’s what helps me when I’ve been feeling how you are). Also, recommend reading Mere Christianity...that book really solidified my faith. If you need time to explore other churches, then GO FOR IT!!
Haha I'm actually re reading Mere Christianity right now. Thanks for the encouragement
Hey OP, you are definitely not alone, I've been feeling that way with the church I've been going to for 3 years...I can't connect with the people, I tell myself it's because I grew up in a different country, I travel a lot for work. But sometimes if it just doesn't work for you then you have to try something else. But never give up your faith guard it aggressively! Sometimes we don't understand why things happen...bad breakups, difficult job and family situations. But it's not up to us to question but to have child like faith. What I'm trying to do is to spend more time with reading and meditating on the word of God, watching YouTube messages and podcasts. Then spend more time in prayer. I also think about all the times when God came though for me and it's helps. 've been going through anxiety and depression almost every day recently after a bad relationship and my faith is the only thing I stand on. Hang in there op!
Thanks for sharing. As a more independent person, I do/did similar things - worshipping individually in my own time. But as great as it is worshipping God by myself, there's a part of me that misses doing community and worshipping God with others. And that's where I feel disconnected from church and God.
I church hopped in the last city I lived in, and told myself I wouldn't do that in this new city. I prioritized a strong community as the most important factor when I was choosing a church, and also knew it would take time. But it's so difficult getting past the cursory introductions and really building friendships with other folks here. Part of me wants to leave this church, and I admittedly will if I ever find an excuse to do so.
Just venting after another social where everyone made plans with each other of some sort and I just walked home. Why is church such a goddam adulthood copy of a high school cafeteria with its separate cliques who just "do life together" when they're obligated to do so through some dinky weekly small group?
Hey OP, I have been in a similar situation several times. Inviting myself always felt awkward, and tbh it really doesn't help build friendships, as you'll always be that person who invites themselves.
I moved to my current city nearly 3 years ago and immediately started looking for a new church home. It was easier for me, because my denomination has multiple churches around. Because I was raised with a liturgy (Lutheran), the sermons are less important to me, as I understand the why of the liturgy and it humbles and strengthens me every day even without a solid sermon. My wife and I attended a very progressive church in NYC for a couple years (Manhattan is mostly unchurched), and though on a good day the sermons were not offensive, they always gave us something to talk about. The liturgy, though, kept us grounded, esp because it involves hearing long passages of scripture.
We settled on a church in our neighborhood that was welcoming, but obviously dying. The demographic was such that it really was a poor fit, but we made it work while we had 2 kids. A year ago our pastor died unexpectedly, so we decided it was time to move on from a church that while welcoming was really not inviting us to be part of their lives. We decided to change denominations to attend a nearby church that is also liturgical, but is focused on bringing Christ into a mostly post-Christian neighborhood. Being tied into a great community has been very encouraging, but it took us several years to find it.
Also agree with your comments about feeling like you achieved everything through your own efforts. Would be happy to chat about my challenges, having been raised a Christian, and how my mindset has changed to see the hand of God in unexpected places. Our industry really focuses on type A personalities, encouraging us to be self-reliant and proud. The struggle is real, and there's no silver bullet.
I definitely agree about churches being welcoming but not inviting, that's how I've seen churches operate. Would definitely love to hear your thoughts and experiences on works vs faith - do you mind sharing here for others to read?
stick around after services during the awkward time everyone organizes lunch and I always end up having to invite myself to other groups plans. I'm starting to absolute loathe socializing with people, and building this animosity towards this church, maybe Christianity in general.
Why the hell did I move? I've been going to church since I was a little kid and honestly can't remember God working in me. I can see God working in others, but everything that I've done feels like a result of something I've done, not an act of faith in God.
Seems more of a coincidence that I'm going to church with all these people, in that I go to this church where all these other people coincidentally attend as well. I don't want to call it my church to be quite honest.
Moved to a new city last summer and have some similar feelings/experiences. You’re not alone.
OP, I found a community that works for my by attending a group hosted at a local church. In my case it was Divorce Care. But you could look for a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace U. You go with that small group for a few weeks and you meet a whole group going through similar things. Even a members class will help bridge the connection. Or volunteer. Doing works better for me.
OP, where are you based out of? I’m based out of NYC and went through the struggle of looking for a new church. If you’re also here, would love to connect.
OP, in what city are you located? I love helping people find great churches!
In Boston and have one in mind already from when I was checking out churches. Thanks for the offer though!