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Honestly, at some point you just kinda have to do it. The leave is high paying which is really helpful. It’s not always a ton of time compared to e.g. European policies but it’s something. See if your firm lets you take additional unpaid leave which you might be interested in. Or you might be excited to get back to work ASAP, LMAO.
A lot of it depends on your spouse and their willingness to support your career.
Look, if kids are your priority you may need to have them in less than ideal situation. They will be totally fine and happy, I promise. My mother was a busy attorney and I had a great childhood. Frankly, the opportunities I had because of income were incredible and the time I got to spend with her was always quality time.
I second the"quality time" point. I work full-time, yet I still spend more one on one time with my one child than my stay-at-home-mom sister spends with any of her 3 children. Not a dig on her, she's a great mom. And not a dig on multiple kids. But when I'm off work, my daughter is my priority and we have such great times together.
I have 2 little kids, and it’s tough but it works! Don’t wait on having kids if you want them, just go for it.
Thanks for the advice! My age kind of snuck up on me haha
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I’d have kids now, enjoy BigLaw maternity benefits (often 5+ months!) and part-time options, and aggressively search for jobs, even while pregnant and on leave. I wouldn’t wait any longer because it absolutely gets even harder to find in-house jobs and as you’ve found, it can be a difficult process.
Big law usually has better maternity leave benefits, so the likely better strategy is to have kids before moving. Personally, I just decided to stay put, but my firm isn't a very top of the market firm. There are lots of good firms in the Amlaw 200 that provide more flexible working environments if you are not fixated on making cravath scale, including bonuses.
My firm is 1950 per year, and 2000 is the highest anyone is expected to hit. Plenty of associates don't even hit 1950, and the only consequence is missing out on bonus. While the number of hours may be similar on paper, the enforcement and unwritten expectations vary wildly between firms.
Is reduced hours an option? I know it doesn't always work, but might be a good compromise while you look for an in-house/gov job (and you get to enjoy the biglaw parental leave benefits)
I’ll look into this! I don’t know anyone who has done this yet, but my firm has a parents group, so I’ll try to reach out to someone there!
Take advantage of the biglaw leave! We have 2 and are trying for a 3rd before I start looking to go in house. In house mat leave policies are so hit or miss that I’d prefer the guaranteed 18 weeks. I’m also on a reduced schedule so that helps with the day to day.
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Agreed with you on in-house may leave policies - big law is SO much better basically across the board, and part time is such a wonderful option that isn’t commonly available in-house. My only concern here would be to be thoughtful about your exit opportunities if you’re going to wait. The field narrows significantly after 6-8 years or so, and again with a partnership title. Not true for every practice, namely niche specialities, but probably most other fields. You don’t want to get stuck in firms if that isn’t your goal, especially if you’re in a practice with very limited in-house opportunities anyway, and you’re likely to eventually limit the seniority of roles (and thus comp) trying to jump without in-house experience.
With a reduced schedule and a good team, it’s better than gov in a lot of ways. The federal government can be more structured on how leave is used, whereas at a firm there’s often no oversight as long as you’re being responsive and hitting hours. I volunteer at my kids’ schools all the time during the day I never discuss it with anyone. There’s also a lot to be said for political capital. You’ve been there a while, they know you, they trust you. It sounds like you have some latitude.
Also, to get down to brass tacks, if you want kids at your age, I would move on that ASAP. A variety of risks to your health and the babies health increase with maternal and paternal age. I know a lot of older moms, who’ve been through hell. If being a mom is important to you, go for it!
I’d also worry about running about of time Tokyo give birth if a baby… trust me IVF is no fun. Have the kid first then worry about job.
I really wanted to wait until I had everything sorted on all fronts, so that my kids could grow up in a calm environment! But now I’m realizing that I have to be more realistic given my age!
I would also note that before kindergarten, you have complete control over your kid’s schedule. People seem to put a lot of emphasis on trying to find a job where they only work from 9 to 5, but babies are actually asleep quite a bit of that time. I don’t think a job where you clock in and clock out, but are expected to be seen during business hours is really a great gig for a working parent. I snagged a ton of time with my kids during the day when they were really little, and I worked more early in the morning, late at night, and while they were napping. So, I would encourage you to think about the number of hours in a day that you want to spend with your child, and think about how and when to make that happen— you might have more options than you think.