Need some advice on how to handle an aggressive co-worker. This is my EM and they has a history of being difficult with PMs. They were nearly fired last year and they used FMLA to go on a break. They came back and joined the project I am working on. The interactions with them include them emotionally dumping, crying, false accusations and swearing. They grab any opportunity to undermine me and take credit. I have escalated twice to leadership. I am keeping receipts and they know it as management

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Honestly? Start looking elsewhere. Sounds like leadership knows the situation and is tolerating it. I wouldn’t want to be in an environment where toxic leaders are allowed to pollute the waters.

Companies only look out for themselves and may feel like firing them might be risky from a legal perspective. But if they’ve let it last this long, it’s an example of why you should find someone who actively avoids toxic culture in their ecosystem and pushes them out much faster.

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I really like the company and the rest of the people that I work with. This is very cutting edge work as well.

This sounds tough. Any chance you can switch projects or do you really value the team/work you’re on now? Honestly sounds like what you’re doing is the best course of action - keep leadership informed, paper trail, don’t let it affect you personally and continue to do what you do best. Eventually it will get out of hand and I’m sure leadership will be forced to do something when team morale overall starts to decline

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I really like the work I am doing. I am also just 4 months in at this place and I’ve had a couple of other launches. This is just the project that I want to stay on because it is a brand new area. So lots of cutting edge work.

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If you’re absolutely intent on staying on this team/project and continuing to work with this individual (since leadership isn’t doing anything) - I would say do two things:
1) continue to document EVERYTHING. Record calls, save communication, etc.
2) look into Mental Health First Aid. Honestly, this person sounds like they’re manic or have some sort of mental instability. Knowing how to respond so that it doesn’t escalate could be helpful 🤷‍♀️

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Thank you for this!! Your point about knowing how to response that it doesn’t escalate is good.

has intervened. The biggest reason nothing has been done as yet is because they are from a competitor and have a background in AI. Their behavior isn’t demotivating me, I don’t let them walk over me either but neither of us is backing down from the project. So I’d like advice on how to work with someone like this.

I’m sorry to hear you’re in this situation, it sounds so difficult. I once worked with an engineer who I really disliked and was one of the reasons I left a startup earlier than I wanted to. He made the environment toxic. I wish I had stuck it out and tried to see it through a bit longer instead of just leaving as otherwise it was a decent place to work. I don’t have any good advice for you but hang in there. Keep holding your ground, documenting and escalating. If management has any sense they’ll take action sooner rather than later. Hopefully karma will come around. (Although I do have to say that in my situation, another PM did escalate re: his behavior and ultimately he stayed and the PM was gone one day).

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