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Hi, I've recently got selected to IBM GBS, and my husband working for PSU I am from Andhrapradesh and IBM location is Chennai. I've 1year baby. Due to this I can't relocate to Chennai. Is there anyway to handle this like working remotely from my home ? Will IBM allows me to do like that. ? IBM Infosys Tata Consultancy Accenture Amazon
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Personally I try very hard not to have expectations of people, no expectations = no disappointment = no resentment = happy marriage, for me it is better to meet people where they are and figure out how to do life together successfully. This works for my marriage, but also easier said than done
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By adopting similar approaches, unexpected and fatal disappointment is likely to pop up
Exceeds across the board, not that I really have expectations to begin with. We're great at picking up each other's slack and make a good team in all walks of life, cliche as that is. Complementary personality types and in sync to the point where most things don't need to be communicated.
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90% - my expectations are someone who loves me as much as I love them, who is willing as willing to compromise and forgive as I am, someone who puts as much effort as I do into our relationship, and someone who I can talk to and talks to me when things aren’t great.
But I didn’t know any of this when I married the first time - we were young and impetuous and eloped after a year of long distance and we wanted to move in together but that wasn’t enough for US immigration so went to a courthouse on a whim and threw ourselves at it.
20 years later (and a second wedding with family and friends), we’ve realized that those expectations I listed is what has made our lives together work.
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Thank you for sharing! You cited noble values!
I had a pretty clear set of expectations of a partner - if I never met anyone who met those expectations, I would not have married. I did get married - and it was to someone who fulfilled those expectations - we’ve been together for 16 years (married for 8 of them), and I am quite happy.
I decided on these categories pretty young. There is a lot of relationship strife and divorce in my family. I paid attention and observed overall trends. Since I dated very casually in my late-teens through mid-20s, I found that I observed without attachment.
The thing that surprised me most during that time was the amount of time men would spend trying to change my mind on big things instead of moving on. Thinking you are going to change someone I find is so common and yet probably leads to so much of the conflict people have in their relationships.
With my current husband, I would say that our overlap is pretty good. Of the categories, our biggest divergence is on money - but the difference isn’t detrimental and I think both of us have actually learned from one another’s differences rather than being plagued by them.
90%
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Lucky you!
I have no expectations. If I did, they wouldn't be met. I try to accept her as she is but I do occassionally get frustrated with a life of doing things for someone that they would never do for me.
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That's the problem, in fact!
I am so sorry… but this is not the right approach towards relationships.
I think expecting someone to make you happy is exactly what dismantles relationships.
You go 100% with no expectations, but to give your all and love that person. It will be so overwhelming for your partner, that they will do the same. Than, everything you get is happiness.
I am just trying to help you. 23 years of marriage. Relationship counselor. God bless you!