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This is really something you should discuss with a family law attorney who practices in your jurisdiction. Generally though, any income earned by either party after marriage should be considered marital property and subject to division in the event of divorce. Then I would also confirm that both parties premarital assets be kept separate.
We both have attorneys. They haven’t talked yet I’m just wondering generally what people have done.
Rising Star
I would say 18mos of support for every year they stayed at home, then a gradual taper off of support for two more years, plus an agreement to cosign for educational loans or otherwise assist with retraining up to a certain amount.
I would reduce the amount depending on what they earned, but not on a one-to-one basis. Essentially, they should not be punished for working but it should lower the burden of support. Say for every dollar they earn the support obligation is reduced by $.50.
The level of support is up to you but I think that is a fair timeline given career impact.
That said, if you start making a very high income, thinking partner level, you should expand this timeline significantly and be generous. Then it’s not compensation for staying home, it’s compensation for helping you get to that level.
The situation I’m talking about involved two teenage children at the time of divorce, but over 15 years out of the work force as an Ivy League law grad allowed her to claim that she’d given up earnings potential essentially equivalent to his earnings. Agreed that this is exactly the kind of conversation you should be having with a lawyer in your jurisdiction, though. I’d want to understand exactly what I had on the line when agreed to allow my spouse to be a stay at home parent.
Pro
There is no fair outcome for the sacrifice of an entire career other than supporting the stay at home spouse for life. Do not become a stay at home spouse or have a stay at home spouse unless you are ready, willing, and able to make that happen.
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F
Pro
It will depend on your state laws but I often see provisions in prenups where there is a lump sum payment based on years of marriage - maybe something like that?
Conversation Starter
F
Pro
For stay at home parents, you absolutely need a spousal maintenance provision, a child support provision, (depending on the income of the high earning spouse you would want to negotiate something above the state income cap), a declaration of separate property, and 50% of all assets acquired during marriage, and if the SAHM is lucky, you can get the other side to keep you in the marital home until the kids turn 18. It is a hassle to sell/buy out properties and move kids, so you want that to be safe. Sometimes you can even negotiate college tuition as child support but up to the state college cap. In NY child support goes to 21. The monied spouse is the one investing so whatever transfer of assets, retirement, etc. they pay capital gains taxes and the fees to distribute the retirement and that they pay 80% of the marital debt. Also that they pay a portion of SAHM’s attorneys fees. That’s what comes to mind now. I’ll let you know if I think of anything else. Also I love family law :) Remember as a stay at home parent, the SAHM is disadvantaged when going back into the work force, so this is everything she needs
to stay afloat.
Pro
Welcome to family law :)
Yes that’s how my monied spouse clients feel.
I always recommend someone should at least have a part time job, when kids are involved.
It works for both parties.