6 months pp and still dealing with PPD. I struggled to bond with my baby and now that I'm back at work, I feel like that bond is not improving. Husband is with baby on leave and it seems baby prefers him. Now husband is taking time off from work to raise him instead of daycare. I'm worried our bond will never improve now that dad is always there.

I've been right where you are, and I promise you will bond in time. Have you talked to your doctors about treatment for PPD? I started on an SSRI after my second, and it has helped a lot. Kids are significantly easier to bond with when they can do more, so not bonding with a 2, 3, 4 month old isn't a commentary on your future. My 3 year old yells for Dad in the morning but my 2 year old yells for me, so some portion of preference is just random. He is a SAHD, so they do a lot of great things together. But both of them look forward to our Saturday morning adventures and the music classes we do together. Give yourself time and grace. You love your kid, and they will recognize that.

Based on your comment about your husband taking time off of work so he can "raise" your baby "instead of daycare", it seems like your mind may be telling you that whoever is spending the most time Monday -Friday from 8-5 with the baby is "raising" the baby, but that's just not true. If your baby was in daycare, the daycare isn't raising your baby! You and your husband are. If your husband was working and you were staying home, you'd still say your husband is raising the baby! Just because you are not with the baby during working hours doesn't mean you aren't raising the baby, you are parenting and raising the baby just as much as the person who is with the baby for 40 hours during the workweek.

First, take care of yourself. Baby seems well cared for. All is in order there. Focus for a bit on things that make you feel good—exercise, massages, good food, time with friends, time with your husband, maybe a trip somewhere beautiful and easy. I believe that once you’re regulated and feeling good again, things will fall into place with baby.

Second, perhaps just accept the roles that seem to fit you and your husband. Being the breadwinner is a really important job, as is being the primary caregiver. If the shoe fits, wear it. Also, not everyone is a baby person. You will meet dozens of iterations of your child in the coming years. Some will click for you more than others. I thought 18 mo was heaven but I’m now finding age 7 is also pretty glorious. The best is yet to come.

I know how you feel - my baby was a preemie, spent 3 weeks in the NICU, my breastmilk supply was low, she wouldn’t latch, and my husband is a teacher so he has way more time off than I do… I was a mess postpartum.
Take a deep breath. It’s ok not to love the baby phase. Your baby loves you, and I’m going to venture a guess that once baby starts being more interactive, your bond will improve. My daughter is 2.5 now and she’s my little bestie and always wants mommy. Your bond will improve. It’s ok to seek therapy about this too - I’ve been doing EMDR therapy and I think it’s been really helpful.

I echo what others have said. Take care of yourself and talk to your doctor about the best treatment for what you’re going through. But also came here to say your child is going to bounce from mom to dad back to mom and so on. This may be dad’s season, but that’s not forever. My husband is currently home taking care of our kids, and while it’s clear they have come VERY attached to daddy, they still come running to mom when they need a kiss on a boo-boo and love when I put them to bed (we take turns). You’re doing great!

My kids (2 and 4) have a SAHD while I work biglaw hours. They definitely have a strong bond with their dad, but our bond is strong as well! If anything they can get more clingy with me because I’m not there all the time.

I didn’t really start bonding until 11ish months with both of my kids which is when they become way more interactive. I would give it time and as much as no one likes to talk about it, it is very common.