A Coworker Keeps Undermining Me in Subtle Ways

He compliments me in meetings but tells others privately that I’m inexperienced or “not ready.” It’s like office sabotage wrapped in sugar. How do you expose someone who’s covertly toxic?

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You have a couple ways of going about this, but first of all you need to find why it’s happening. When I had a young younger male coworker, not as experienced as me doing very much the same thing I pulled him into an office and asked him, what have I done That I’m unaware of to where these remarks still keep coming out? And he said nothing and then he realized what he was doing, and he apologized and said it would never happen again, and it never did.
If that does not work, then you need to directly and formally ask them, especially if they have a snide remark for you while you’re in a group, “ did you mean to say that out loud?“ and then say nothing else, that should get them to shut that shit off - if it doesn’t document it all and start talking to your manager about it.

This would bother me too much. I’d bring it up to him.

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