Anyone live with their in-laws? Do you regret it? We are busy working parents and are thinking it might be great for the kids to have more loving family members at home. The idea is to renovate and create an in-law suite on the first floor so they can age in place and not have to worry about stairs. We and both kids would be upstairs. My only concern is if we end up fighting and damaging the relationship because we are in each other’s faces all the time. Thanks in advance for your input.

It’s a blessing and a nightmare. Dynamics change. It’s invaluable time to be around the older generation for both you and your spouse and the kids. But honestly it can be tough. My mother has lived with us since 2022 and my husband is so over it lol. 40% of the time, I’m over it. She has an en suite downstairs, while we have our rooms upstairs. We don’t depend on her to do much and sometimes she helps around the house. It can be a good situation but there will be times relationships and boundaries are tested.

My in-laws have been staying with us for a few months. They're actually a big help, but I'm getting tired of it and looking forward to it just being the 4 of us again. You have to really look at yourselves and be honest with the reality of living with parents/in-laws. Can you still be yourself 100% in their presence? Does or will your parenting change with grandparents around? Have your in-laws respected boundaries in the past? Does everyone have the same food preferences? What about sharing the workload—will they own some chores? These are all questions to seriously consider. And not to say it's a bad move because all family dynamics are different, and this could be good for your family.

My in-laws stay in the basement which allows me and my spouse to hang out on the main floor in the evenings and not be cooped up upstairs. I'd have a really hard time having them stay on the main floor.

Depends on your ILs. It wouldn’t have worked for us since my ILs didn’t want to help with the kids. We also prefer our own space so instead we just bought a house nearby and moved my parents in it instead so they would be much closer to help with the kids. They’ve lived near us for about a decade now. It’s great since they help make and deliver food, help us with yard maintenance, occasionally clean and get our mails when we are away and watch the kids whenever we need them to. They also drop us off and pick us up from the airport when we go away.

Really depends on your situation. How big is your home? How are your in laws? Can they create their own routines and stay occupied? Do they expect to be taken care of or just find ways to be helpful? Will they accept your way of living or try to enforce theirs? Are they graceful in general or sulk/ acerbic if they don’t have their way?

Culturally, this is normal for us and my in laws are good people… so not a biggie for us.

Depends on your in laws. I couldn’t live w my mother-in-law, much too intrusive and controlling. I think living with either my parents or my in-laws would be hard.

I think my parents babysat our kids twice. The kids never had a sleepover at their grandparents's home (they lived an hour away from us with no traffic). It was a different story for my sister and her son, who lived in the same town as our parents, who were constantly involved with their grandson's life.