Do you ever find it challenging to build genuine friendships with colleagues at work? I sometimes feel that, even though religion or strong personal values shouldn’t be a barrier, people at work might judge me or keep their distance because they perceive me as “too intense” about the way I live or the principles I uphold. While I understand where they’re coming from, I wish they could look past those differences and connect with me as a person, rather than letting my beliefs define our potential friendship.

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I’m a bit confused. You’d want to build strong connections only with people who have similar shared values, but those values aren’t necessarily driven by religion (and a lot of religions actually have similar values even if they go about it differently). What about you is coming off as too intense?

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I show a genuine interest in their lives and I think it just starts with aski by open questions. I share about what’s happening in my life when asked. But I also don’t want to be close friends with people at work. At the end of the day they are friendly colleagues, seldom become friends. You see it when people leave the firm.

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It can be challenging to build close friendships at work in any case but especially when your faith and values are a visible part of your life. I’ve also felt that some colleagues see me as “different” or assume I might judge them, which really makes things awkward or distant when they don't need to be. Just try to show your personality beyond just religious identity and talk about common interests, joining in on work conversations, and being open and friendly. Sometimes, just small acts of kindness or humor can break the ice. Once people get to know me as a person, they usually become more comfortable and open up too.

No one wants a religious fruitcake as a friend. Don’t make religion your identity when you get to work. At workplace, you want to be known for your skills, talent, and what you can do. Now which book you follow. This applies to all religions.

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