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Likewise, @SC1. Met someone and thought it would work out but his parents couldn’t get over my blackness. Alhamdulillah, he’s found someone else now but I can’t help but wonder how many lives we ruin when we let things like race get in the way. May Allah swt make it easy on us all.
Yeah, his family was Indian and proud of it. My family is Nigerian and proud of it. We had more in common in cultural values than we didn’t but that didn’t matter. InshaAllah, they learn from their mistakes.
Pro
Incompatibility of parents... go figure. Everything else was perfect.
Pro
It takes two to tango
Mine has been just finding someone I'm compatible with enough to move forward. At times it's been attraction as the main issue, other times deen hasn't lined up, other times education isn't really there nor is the desire to make it a priority.
I resonate with this. May Allah make it easy for you.
I wonder if the journey is harder for muslim women or Muslim men ?
My point is just in general having kids earlier allows you to not be so old when they grow up. Being 50 when your kid graduates vs being 40 is very different.
For me, it’s finding someone with similar balance of religion and worldly goals. I feel I am too old school in some areas, too liberal in others..
Do you mind giving examples?
For some people it’s literally they just don’t know how to meet potentials. For others maybe they’re not ready yet. Or maybe you’ve had bad experiences with getting into marriage in the past.
For me, I’ve gotten to know a few men for marriage and it turns out we are not compatible (different personalities, values, lifestyles, etc)
I was just thinking about it yesterday. It occurred to me how difficult my journey has been and thought no wonder it's called half your Deen.