Has anyone actually done the math on an offer and realized the “raise” wasn’t really a raise? The new job pays 10k more but my health insurance would cost $400 more a month. Suddenly it feels like a wash.

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Oh man, so many people have been exactly where you are right now. That “raise” on paper turns into smoke once you run the actual numbers. $10k more sounds great until you realize $400 extra a month for health insurance is $4,800 a year… and that’s before taxes eat into the salary bump.
Suddenly you’re looking at maybe $3-4k real gain (or less), and that’s if everything else stays the same. It’s infuriating how companies throw out the higher salary number like it’s the whole story, but they conveniently leave out how much worse the benefits package is. A lot of folks only figure it out after they’ve already accepted and are staring at the first paycheck deduction. You’re doing the smart thing by actually crunching it. A lot of people don’t, and then they’re stuck feeling trapped. If it ends up being a wash (or close to it), it’s totally valid to say no or negotiate harder, maybe ask them to cover part of the insurance difference or throw in a signing bonus to make it actually worth the move.
Have you looked at the rest of the package yet? Like 401k match, PTO, remote flexibility, commute costs? Sometimes those tip it one way or the other.

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